While I was rocking Tommi this evening and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with thoughts of how she will do with out me when I go into labor. She is still super pumped for the extra special time with Big Mama. But I think of how she still sometimes wakes up in the night and wants me to rock her and gets sad b/c she "misses me" when I'm not with her. Thankfully I know my mom will keep her distracted but I still can not help but worry. In my heart I know she will do great but I can't help but worry about my mommas girl!
Another thing I was thinking about is how things are gonna play out while I am in labor. If I could plan it...I would be able to put Tommi in bed for the night then head to the hospital and have someone wait here at the house till my mom got here. So Tommi can wake up to Big Mama and they can spend the day "playing" or doing whatever Tommi wants. She can visit me briefly if wanted then leave until I am about to have her. Then after I have Monkey, TJ can go out in the waiting room and get Tommi bring her in to "meet" her baby sister. Only after she meets her do I want everyone else to come in. Since Tommi LOVES showing her things off to others I want her to get to "show off" her little sister for the first time plus at that point she can wear her "Big sister" shirt with Monkeys real name to announce it to everyone.
I just want to make sure Tommi is the first to "meet" Monkey and also the one who is able to announce her name. If I have her in the middle of the night I would love to not let anyone come visit till the morning when Tommi gets there.
I do not want Tommi hanging out at the hospital while I'm in labor b/c I know how nervous hospitals make her and it is just not needed...esp with technology! I can keep everyone up to date on when things are getting "serious".
If my labor/birth is anything like last time it will go so much better than I expect. But I can't help but wonder when and how it will all play out.
Guess only the Lord knows and all I can do is share my wishes with those around me and then just trust things will go well for Tommi. I just can't help but have anxiety about it not only being my first time away from Tommi for an extended period of time (even if it is only a few hours) but her not being shocked or thrown off my things.
I've got about 8 weeks (hopefully) to pray hard things go well and I can be calm and let go of control :)
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