Friday, December 30, 2011


Tommi has been doing SO good with potty training, pee and poop. She will usually go when we ask or just tell us when she has to go. Well yesterday I made a quick trip to the grocery store and TJ stayed home with Tommi. Well she came to him and said she had to he told her to go sit on her potty and he would be there in a second. Well she walked out of the room and said "I'm all wet" She was at home and had full access to a potty, what in the world? She kept saying she was sorry afterwards. So she was not happy with herself.

Then today we went out to dinner and she peed when we go to the restaurant and before we left I asked if she had to go and she said no. So I didn't force her since it had been such a short time (45 minutes-ish) we went to Walmart afterwards and I went to the bathroom when we got there. I should have made her come with me but she said she didn't have to go so I didn't make her. Well we walked around a bit then she was looking at toys and she said "uh-oh" we look over and she is standing with a puddle at her feet. She again said "sorry mommy" and when I asked why she didn't tell me she said "I just didn't." I told her if she is not gonna tell us when she needs to go then we will have to put her bike away and she can get it back when she is not having accidents anymore. Not trying to punish her but she isn't gonna have her reward for potty training if she isn't gonna do it. We have told her that we are not returning it just putting it away till she is better about telling us she needs to go. So she is not really upset, more disappointed but does understand.

She is TOTALLY against wearing diapers again and says she loves wearing undies. She even said after I put her diaper on her for bed, "I don't wanna wear diapers again." I reassured her that she doesn't have to wear them again during the day, just at night like normal. But she does need to tell us if she needs to go.

She says she will do better...I sure hope! If it was just at home it wouldn't be so bad but if she is gonna have them in public I'm in for real trouble!

I'm hoping these are isolated incidents.

Baby pool

I thought this was alot of fun with Tommi so I did it again with Monkey. I had an original one but now that we know it is a girl I figured I'd do a new one for birth date and all that!

Thursday, December 29, 2011


The appt went well...they didn't do a pelvic exam as expected but checked the heartbeat and fudus height. I have no swelling and Monkey was moving like a beast so all is going well!

When trying to schedule my appointment for next week they didn't have any openings except on Friday at times that really didn't work for me. I have to work around Tommi but ended up having to go with the most convenient time of my choices which was 11:45am. I will probably just have to end up taking Tommi and hoping that she behaves and isn't too thrown off. Then we can just go grab lunch out somewhere.

I just don't understand how they are the ones who expect me back weekly but make it seem like I'm being the difficult one when we struggle to find a good time for my appt.

I have set my mind that next week when I schedule my appt I will tell them the only times that work for me are Tuesday after 3 or Wednesday mid morning. B/c my mom will be up and she can watch Tommi. If they want me to see a dr they will work around me! haha I swore I'd never be that person but when you are 38/39 weeks pregnant (which I will be) I am allowed to be difficult...just for this short time in my life :)

Well 37 weeks has been pretty kind to me. I feel really good and am just trekking along. I am still wanting to make it to my due date or very close to it if possible...I don't think I'll be having her early but who knows.

I will be glad to be able to cuddle and have Tommi on my lap comfortably.

37 week picture...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


...overwhelmed! I feel like I have so much to do and so little time. When I actually write it down there is really not that much to get done but I can not help but feel like I'm drowning. Poor TJ has heard it so many times but when he asks "Well what can I do?" I say "Nothing." b/c if I don't do it I will not feel satisfied or it is just something he can't handle b/c well he works all day. He is helpful when I need him...and I am SO thankful for this!

I feel like I need to get my "list" done so I can just relax and not worry about anything when I finally do go into labor.

I'm just straight up scared to be a mom of 2. Some days I can barely handle one, how in the world am I gonna handle 2 kids?!?!

Maybe the problem is I'm scared...out of my mind!

Anyone who wants to add me to their prayer list please do. Just to set my mind at peace and help me handle one thing at a time and not stress. I want SO badly to enjoy these days few weeks...b/c Tommi deserves the best mommy I can be and I know I will miss being pregnant.

37 week dr appt tomorrow evening!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

More Christmas...

This morning we had Christmas as a little family...It was nice. As Tommi unwrapped her gifts all the wrapping paper had to be in a little pile...we couldn't make a mess...weirdo!

She got...
-A car DVD player
-Head phones for DVD player
-Mickey Mouse DVD
-Caillou DVD
-Open Season 2 DVD
-Dora Guitar
-Candy in her stocking

Then we went to TJ's grandparents for a dinner get together and from there left for my parents house for a few days.

We had Christmas soon after getting to my parents house with my parents, brothers, and their ladies and wow are we all spoiled!

Tommi got...
-A giant doll house
-Mini van for dolls
-My own Leaptop
-A couple outfits
-A super fancy dress
-Froggie jammies
-Some Berenstain Bears books

Tommi definitely has been spoiled this Christmas...I hope she doesn't mind a break from presents for a while! I think we are maxed out on space for stuff!

She also got a Minnie Mouse bike which was not a Christmas present but might as well have been. It was a potty trained present.

Tommi did GREAT on the trip down...we put in a movie on her DVD player but she was so tired she could hardly pay attention and kept asking us to switch DVDs. Finally we put her Christmas music CD in the DVD player and let her listen to her music on her headphones. She crashed with in minutes and slept for an hour and a half! Which basically the only reason she woke up was b/c TJ and I needed to stop to pee and move our legs. I was a bit concerned b/c it had been over 2 hours since she used the bathroom but when we stopped (with a little walking around and bargaining to make her try) She went to the bathroom and had no accidents!!! Yay! We had a minor accident when we got to my parents but that was due to busy with all the excitement and drinking a bunch right before we got there. But she only went a little then caught herself and went to the potty! I'm SO proud of her...she is doing SO well!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Big potty...

So this is totally something only a mom can celebrate but...Tommi pooped in the big potty tonight!!! (with a kid potty seat on it but no stool and not a kid potty)

We were at church and I knew Tommi had to go poop so I kept reminding her and even used some bribing to convince her to try. She kept saying she didn't have to go. Then we were sitting in church and I asked her if she wanted to go back and try and poop and gave her something to throw away...she is a little obsessed with the trash can in our nursery b/c it has a pedal to step on for it to open, weird child...but it worked.

So we went back and she of course made me wait in the actual nursery while she was in the bathroom. I kept peeking in on her and asking "are you done?" She would say "No mommy, I'm gonna be fine." I was just worried she would decide to jump off the potty before she called for me. But after like 10 min of her being in here I was getting worried she was just playing games. Well she soon called for me and sure enough she went...a bunch! Funny how something so simple can make you feel so much calmer. I was so relieved she went so I didn't have to worry about her having an accident.

I'm just so proud of her b/c she has only pooped in her little froggie potty at home and for her to poop on the big potty with her feet just hanging was a big change!

On a totally different note...Tommi was a TOTAL pistol yesterday to the point I was gonna return her presents if she continued the craziness. She had to sit with me for majority of the time at TJ's grandparents and watch all the other kids play and hang out presents (her favorite thing to do)

Well she turned it around BIG TIME....She has been amazing today. Of course she has had her normal 2 year old test the limits moments but seriously she has been so good. I finally feel like I have my sweet little girl back! She listened and behaved so good today! I am just so proud of her. She heard it over and over about how proud I was so maybe this will motivate her to continue.

I am learning in the process of it all...choose the battles wisely and try to let her make the decision with choices. I am trying not to "force" anything on her. I wish I knew what it was that turned her around so I can remember if we go through another spell.

Yay tomorrow is Christmas...even though it has been for 2 days now at our house! I'm just excited to give Tommi our presents to her and REALLY excited to travel down to see my family!!! I am beyond excited I get to go down to Va Beach...not for presents but just b/c I love my family! Plus this is really our "last hurrah" before monkey makes her appearance!

I have gotten and am getting some great stuff for Christmas but really it would have been the perfect Christmas if Tommi continues to have the time of her life!

Christmas presents.

I like to list all the stuff Tommi gets just to look back and remember how spoiled she is.

Last night at TJ's grandparents Tommi got...
-Books to go with the Poingo
-A cute cupcake dress
-A sweatshirt/jacket
-Berenstain bears movie
-Princess book with mat and figurines
-$50 for savings of course
-Snowman PJs
-Mr. Potato head clothes

Today at TJ's parents she got...
-An easel
-Cinderella storybook
-Goldilocks and the three bears storybook
-Love you forever book
-The Original Mother Goose book
-Doll for her dollhouse (she will get tomorrow from my parents)
-Stuffed dog purse
-The Land Before Time DVD
-The Lion King DVD
-Giant coloring pages and crayons

I think that is all for now. Definitely some awesome stuff esp for a girl who LOVES books so much and coloring. She is SO excited!!!

The best part is she did not only enjoy getting gifts but she was ALL about handing them out! Such an amazingly giving and sweet girl!

TJ and I got some awesome stuff too and we definitely don't have an excuse not to go out on a few dates this year b/c we got gift cards to eat out! Including a "date night" pack to see a movie and go to dinner with free babysitting from TJ's sister (like I'd ever have to pay anyone to watch my girls haha, I always have a line of people who want to watch Tommi and Monkey will be the same way). The conditions are that his sister has to watch them when we go one else haha. She cracks me up. It may have to wait till I am comfortable leaving Monkey but will be used definitely...we are gonna need some time to ourselves at least one night this year :)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Over taken


We had Christmas at TJ's grandparents house with the whole family. Tommi got some really nice toys that will go to waste which I am glad. :) But I realized when we got home that I do not have room for all these books/toys. I need to go through all her stuff and just box it up till a later time and stuff can definitely be donated.

I know she is gonna get more toys tomorrow and Sunday so I need to make room. I wish I was better at organizing so I could come up with a better way to do things but for now I have no idea how I'm gonna fit all this stuff in our house and still have things look half put away.

Between the pregnancy nesting and emotions I'm going crazy around here!

Thursday, December 22, 2011


...asses the size of someones baby...esp to her face when she is 9 months pregnant.

I had 2 different people today ask me how big the drs thought the baby was. Based on the u/s we had last month and the e-mails I get I am assuming she is about 6 lbs so that is what I say. At 32 weeks she was 4.5 lbs so 6 lbs sounds right 4 weeks later.

So I am saying she is about 6 lbs and should be around 8 lbs (at 40 weeks) give or take an ounce or so. Well both of these women kinda got big eyed and said (not in a mean way) something about carrying a big baby.

Think into this first baby was 7 lbs 7 ozes (so about 7 and a half pounds) and usually 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies are bigger than the one before if carried to the same point. Plus I was an ounce off from being 8 lbs and TJ was 2 ounces off from being 8 lbs. So it is pretty expected I will have at least close to an 8 pounder if not right on.

I honestly would rather give birth to an 8 lbs baby than a 6 lbs baby. Little babies "scare" me! haha The average baby at full-term is 7.5 lbs so I'm pretty average with the size of my babies!

Today has been a VERY emotional one...honestly the silliest thing got me going and I couldn't snap out of it for a while. But that is life for now...I'd rather deal with a day of not feeling well emotionally than physically not feeling well.

All the Christmas' start tomorrow evening with our Christmas at TJ's grandparents house...Tommi's first words this morning were "Is it Christmas?" Then this evening she was talking all about Christmas and telling me "I love Christmas!"

Oh yeah...This morning when I woke Tommi up to go to TJ's aunts house, she was having a fit about something. So I told her if she didn't behave I was gonna give all her presents to some other kid who was acting right. She got serious and said "Give my toys to Titus, he will share with me!" NO WAY!!! She is too stinkin smart!!! All I could do was laugh and move on.

Potty talk...

One of these days I will finally stop talking all about potty training but I like to document all this b/c it will be fun to look back on and remember surviving it b/c there have been times I swore I was not gonna make it.

Today we had a pee accident...but I think she did it b/c I was not paying attention to her and honestly she wanted to be naked! haha She laughed about it then started saying sorry. I told her it is fine but I just want her to be able to get her bike and piano...since I flipped it on her and me wanting the same thing she wants I think she felt like I was not mad just disappointed. But I still think it was a learning fluke. Hey 99% of the time she does go in the potty so I'm happy and no accidents while "out" in almost 2 weeks so I'm happy!

Tommi did great this morning when she stayed with TJ's aunt. She told her when she had to go and was great! Yay!!!

She pooped in the potty today too and none in her undies! When we were at TJ's grandmas for dinner she kept grabbing her butt like she had to go. So finally she told me she had to go we rushed to the toilet and she pooped like a quarter size turd. She said she was done but I just don't think she liked that her feet didn't touch the ground. I asked her needed to go home and use her froggie potty. She said I kept a close eye on her while we cleaned up then headed home. When we got home she pooped at least 6 different times in her potty just little poops at a time. I wish she would have just gotten it all out but at least she is not doing it in her undies. So poop has been a success and I'm SO happy!!!

I have debated what potty I'm gonna bring to my moms b/c Tommi really does love her blue potty but I'm thinking since she will only poop in her froggie potty as of now I am gonna bring that one and not try to force anything new on her until she is confident about going.

She still makes me wait in the hall while she poops which cracks me up. This evening I refused to go out b/c I thought she was trying to mess with me and put off going to bed by saying she had to go. So I just "hid" my face with a book. That worked thank goodness.

I love her and am finally feeling the "relief" of having a potty trained toddler. I'm less nervous about it these days and love the lack of diaper changes and worrying about having diapers with me every moment. The change of clothes I put in her diaper bag last Thursday is still there un-used so that is pretty awesome!

The booty shake...she REALLY enjoys being naked!! :)


I had my 36 week appt. Nothing exciting...actually quite boring. Dr came in and checked the heartbeat and my fudus height then did the strep B swab. Everything looks good.

He gave me the go ahead for going to VB over Christmas! Yay! I just have to take a copy of my records like I did last time when I went to Chase's OCS graduation at 37 weeks.

I made my next appt for next Thursday at 230pm but really should have asked if they had anything before 130pm or after 4pm b/c of Tommis nap. TJ will be off work so he can put her down but knowing him he is such a push over when it comes to her and she is a con artist I figured I needed to call back and change it. Well I tried to call and my phone was screwing up. The stinking lady was rude about it I feel like a loser calling back. Ugh! These weekly appts make it hard to get the times I need!

So all is boringly good...which is the way I like it!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


So I finally took my 36 weeks picture...I look a bit tired but that may be a combination of the paleness of winter and actually being tired :)


Well today was a pretty good day for potty training. I kinda bugged Tommi today about pooping but this evening after my shower she kept walking into the living room. I finally stopped following her and said whatever, she will poop in the potty when she is ready. Well to my surprise she did not poop in her undies in the living room (well actually a drop) but she came back to our room and I asked if she wanted to "hide" in her room and go to the bathroom and I'd come back in a minute. She went with it and sat on her potty in her room and "Mommy I'm done, I pooped!" YAY!! She did!

Then after getting home from TJ's parents house, she "hid" under our kitchen table. I didn't think she would be going again but she did a little but wanted to get it off her butt immediately. She went in the room right after and pooped in the potty some again...then not too long later she brought her potty out in the living room and went again while I read to her. So she only had a little slip up...but I'm ok with that we are making progress. She seemed like she forgot there for a minute.

She is SUPER motivated by getting her lets just hope things continue on this good path! She did great peeing today...haha such a mom thing to say!

Tomorrow morning I have my dr appt and Tommi will be staying with TJ's aunt and cousin. I really hope she doesn't act goofy and not go to the potty when she needs to. But they are used to a toddler so I know it will be ok...I am a bit nervous but that is just how I get when I leave Tommi with someone anyway but potty training adds to it. Esp with the poop thing.

36 weeks...

Well I've hit the 9th month! Amazing to think it could be less than 4 weeks before she is here! I'm pretty excited...super nervous about handling 2 kids but thankfully mom will be here some and January is a slow month at work for TJ so he will be home more in the beginning.

Overall I'm feeling really good. I am not sleeping great but that is due to this allergy/cold/cough stuff I've been fighting. It only affects me at night and makes me have a dry throat and cough. But I'm definitely sleeping alot better than I did with Tommi at this point. I remember waking up with sore hips with her but I have not had that problem this time...I'm very thankful for that! It may be b/c I am more active during the day with the ups and down and moving around with Tommi or b/c I just have some good sleeping positions that work.

I laugh everytime I get up off the floor of the bathroom with Tommi b/c I feel almost like my body doesn't work right. But I guess if you gave someone a beach ball to connect to their abdomen and told them to get up it would be tough on anyone.

I really am loving life right now as far as pregnancy. Yeah I'm kinda getting over not being able to move that well and having to think deep into my outfits but I have had such a great pregnancy I am just so thankful for the miracles in my life!

I'm not a cryer but I just teary eyed as I sit here talking about my pregnancy and the sweetest little voice said "Mommy can I come sit next to you?" Then she climbs up and lays her hand on mine as I type! She has such a sweet heart and the love of cuddling is AWESOME!!! I love my girls so much!!!

I'm super duper excited for Christmas...I can not wait to give out presents to everyone. I just think it is so fun! Esp for Tommi b/c she is gonna be so excited with all the presents she is getting! If I got nothing for Christmas my Christmas would still be complete just knowing so many people love my babygirl so much and want to make her face light up!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


This one of those times I wish I lied to Tommi and said Santa was watching her so maybe she would learn to behave. But since we are not going that route I am stuck to "real" parenting. (No offense I'm really just venting)

But Tommi has been on this not listening spell. I don't know how she compares to kids her age b/c I'm not around many of them. But I typically thought she was a good kid and I was succeeding at parenting. I have been feeling like such a failure these days. The look from the cashier at Walmart when Tommi didn't listen when I told her not to stand up and grab something out of the bag made me feel even worse. Look lady I promise I am in control (I think) but I was trying to pay for my stuff and move on so I didn't make a scene.

I'm a bit frustrated but this too shall pass! I think she is a bit bored these days b/c we have not been doing alot. I have tried to limit our outings and also with it being cold we are stuck inside alot. Plus the stores are so busy I'm not big on going out without help.

Potty training is going well. We had no accidents today! I have learned if I need Tommi to use the potty b/c we are leaving or I know it is has been a while, I offer to read her a book while she sits on the potty. It works great! She is such a nerd :)

Today I think TJ and I accidentally made her hold her poop in :( We were trying to get ready to go out and she kept grabbing her butt so we were trying to get her to go in the potty...offering to "hide" the potty or read to her etc. And she refused. I know she had to go...but hopefully she will tomorrow and not in her undies.

My mom and dad just bought Tommi's bike for potty training but if she doesn't get the hang of this poop thing I can't give it to her. She knows it is at my parents house and we will be there in a few days so this could be interesting. Also traveling with a potty training toddler for the first time will be interesting!

Exciting news...the year I thought I would be totally behind and stressing. I have ALL my Christmas shopping done and wrapped and I'm totally relieved. I am waiting for one more gift for TJ's grandma to get here but it is supposed to be here tomorrow or Thursday. I sure hope so b/c we are having Christmas with his grandparents and cousins on Friday.

We have 4 Christmas' going starting Friday evening life will get very exciting! Friday night at TJ's grandparents house with ALL his cousins and their families, Saturday lunch time with TJ's parents, sister and her family, then our little family Christmas Sunday morning (which is basically just for Tommi b/c TJ and I didn't do gifts this year...I know it is bad but we would rather save money), then Sunday evening (I think) with my parents, brothers, and their ladies!

I have done no pictures recently....I need to get a pic of my lovely figure. But for now I will just let you all enjoy a very good depiction of how nuts my child is...we have been naked alot with the potty training and Tommi was running through the living room doing "high knees" and wearing my awesome zebra socks! I have some really cute shots from the front but since the public can view this I will not post those...her butt is enough nudity.

Something beautiful...

While at TJ's volleyball game last night Tommi said to one of our friends daughters Lyric, who is 10. "Wanna see something beautiful?" Lyric said "sure" Tommi reaches in my bag and pulls out my photo album and turns to a picture of herself and shows Lyric. All Lyric and I could do was laugh!

At least she has confidence :)

Monday, December 19, 2011


Today was one of those days...the days where I was so ready for naptime I could hardly wait.

It started with Tommi eating breakfast then demanding a cookie. We hardly ever have cookies in the house but with the holidays we have more than enough. I told her not until after lunch...well she went in the kitchen and opened a tin of cookies we just got. I told her to put it back...well she looks right at me and shoves the cookie right in her mouth. I immediately made her spit it out and go into time out. This was definitely a moment I couldn't help but want to laugh but had to be serious.

Then after shopping at Target Tommi refused to try to potty and I knew she had to go. So I got all the stuff loaded in the car and brought the "car potty" into the store...assuming I would put it on the toilet and she could use it but no she had to use it with the baggy in it on the floor. Good gracious...I gave up and let her.

We got home and were getting things together to have lunch and I hear "Mommy I'm wet!" WHAT?!?! You have not had an accident in almost a week and you just went a bunch 45 minutes ago and have had nothing to drink since!! Sure enough she peed all over herself and the floor. I had to bite my tongue and go on.

The attitude was full force the rest of the day...not wanting to sit on the potty even when I know she had to go but refused to put a diaper on. She demanded everything and was just plain mean. The nap only lasted an hour, when 2 hours is needed. Which of course added to the attitude. By bedtime she had lost tons of privileges and I was SO ready to put her down!

A little humor for the day...while on the phone with my mom Tommi was dancing around grabbing her butt like she had to poop. She kept walking behind the recliner and if I said something about it she would come out laughing. TJ had come home and was in the bathroom where some how both the in door pottys ended up. Grr! I finally figured it out...I'll get the car potty. So I asked her if I got the car potty if she would go in it. She agreed so I got it and when I brought it inside she didn't want it in the extra bathroom she wanted it behind the recliner where she likes to hide and poop. Well thankfully she went...YAY!!!! haha I just had to find so much humor in her pooping behind the recliner. If that is the only way she will poop on the potty I'll go with it...for now! But guess only time will tell.

She ran herself ragged this evening at TJ's volleyball game so thankfully she knocked right out after I put her down!

So now the day is finally over and I am VERY relieved! I am trying not to rush the days by but today NEEDED to be over.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Here are the pottys we have been using and my so far reviews...

We have 4 pottys total...Oh how fun potty training is!

The froggy potty...
The original potty that she learned to use the potty with at home. Used to be her favorite!

Review: Great first potty. Tommi is able to get up and down, on and off very easily on her own. Easy to clean and empty.

The blue potty...
My parents suggested this one b/c we had one like it growing up.

Review: It is wonderful. Tommi can climb up and down by herself and since it fits on the big potty there is no clean up or emptying. It allows her to use the big toilet but feel comfortable b/c she has something to put her feet on. Tommi insists on using this when we are at home ever since she got it. Tommi also loves the handles on the sides so she can "hold on" while using it. Plus it folds up easy and can just store right next to the toilet. We have not used it as a floor potty but had we gotten it before the froggy one we may not have 2 pottys at home.

The car potty...
We needed a potty since we travel so far to places...and sometimes have emergencies or if a potty is not available this one is. With a trip to VB coming up we need something if a rest stop is not close...or too dirty for her cute hiney :)
This was suggested by another mom friend. It has absorbent bag like things that they pee or poop in and you just throw it away like a diaper. Plus it doubles as a seat for the big potty.

Review: So far I love it! It is perfect for our car and Tommi feels comfortable on it. Plus it is not too big to carry in its bag when really needed.

The princess seat...
Our travel seat to put on public bathroom seats to make it easier for her little butt to sit on them.

Review: I don't really like it. When I pick Tommi up and place her on it, it moves and that can be really annoying and causes the problem we had tonight and "pinches" Tommis legs. Honestly I wish I had not gotten it but I was desperate at the time and it will be used just isn't as good as I'd hoped. It does fold up nicely and I can put it right in the diaper bag in its personal little vinyl bag.

Don't judge...

This has been on my mind alot lately. I look at other moms and see some that are flustered and others who are as cool as can be.

I have come to find out some of this has to do with the day they are having but also has to do with personality. There are moms who can hold it together when their whole world is falling apart...but other moms look at them and judge and assume they have the perfect kids or they are just super mom. But they are battling their own things we don't know about.

I have had comments made when I am feeling flustered that "Tommi is so good", "Tommi is so well behaved", "I hardly hear her in church", etc. Yes I have a great kid, BUT she is most definitely 2 years old. We have battles, BIG ONES! She can not be quiet to save her life sometimes, she has a major tude, I can not force her to do what she has her heart set on not doing, and makes me want to just give up and walk away sometimes...Yes I feel defeated by a 2 year old. She is so smart it is almost a bad thing. It is rare that I can pull the wool over her eyes...I have to be careful b/c she picks up on my feelings, emotions, etc. No matter if I act like all is good she knows when I'm weak and attacks :) Every trait that is bad is also a great thing. She asks tons of questions, which in turn makes her know more than a kid who doesn't ask. So her talking is due to wanting to know (everything) most of the time. Her attitude is showing she is not a push over and stands up for herself which in years to come will come in handy...I admire her for it!

So as we have entered potty training she has been a hassle. Yes she has been "easy" but not really at the same time. No I am not having to clean up accidents all the time but if she doesn't want to pee when it is convenient for me then she won't, she is on her own clock and I have to listen to her.

She told me the other night I was the moon and daddy was the sun. (I have NO idea what she was talking about) But TJ and I laughed b/c she is most definitely the sun and we are moons or planets just revolving around her.

Tonight when at the church dinner I was SO frustrated with Tommi and not peeing. I just didn't understand why she couldn't just pee using what we had...Does she not know I'm almost 9 months pregnant and pulling up undies and tights and getting up and down off the floor in a bathroom is NOT what I want to be doing?!? Can't she see how hard this is for me? In all this time, I was losing my mind...but I kept it together the best I could b/c well I had to. The world does not need to see my frustration with something that is so little in the scheme of things. Some one else looking in sees a woman who is just tired b/c she is pregnant when in reality life was very tough in that moment...I almost lost it!

No kid is "easy" it is all how we present it to the world. So that woman who seems to have it all together may don't judge her! And that mom who looks like she is losing in no way "less" than the other mom...she just deals different. Most of the time I am the mom who looks like I'm about to lose it haha I'm ok with that b/c I just remember "It won't be like this for long!" Before I know it potty training will be over and will be a distant memory (at least for a little while). This pregnancy will be over so soon and I don't wanna miss a minute!!!


So we had our church Christmas dinner tonight. Which was VERY interesting to say the least. Tommi told me she had to pee but when we went the little potty seat thing I had bought her was not wanting to stay on the seat right while I pulled Tommi's dress up and put her on it. So it would pitch her legs when I put her on the potty. Finally I got it right and even then she acted like she didn't have to pee. She told me again and I tried to bargain with her to sit on it but she was not having it. I could tell she really did have to go. So I finally went to the car and got her "car potty" and brought it in for her to pee in. Which she did a bunch! She really had to go...poor thing. But I'm glad she held it. I am thinking I may just have to start carrying the "car potty" with me if we go into public places so I know for sure she is comfortable and will not make a million trips to the bathroom.

But potty training is going great! Tommi does SO well telling us when she has to go. I rarely have to ask her unless I really need her to go (i.e. when we are leaving to go somewhere or at naptime) Poop is still a work in progress...we had another accident today. But that will come in time!

I did tell Tommi since she has done so good and we are so proud of her she can get the Ariel swimming doll at Target next time we go. But the bike and piano are on hold till she will poop in the potty also. She told me "Mommy you're the best!" That might have been worth it all. She LOVES hearing how proud people are of her :) It is really cute to see the pride in her face when we talk about her being a big girl!

So in pregnancy news...While in the bathroom at church I had a few people ask when I'm due again or how much longer. Well one lady asked and I said "I'm due in 4 weeks!" She said "I doubt you will make it 4 more weeks...I was never that big with my kids." She has 4 grown-up I am thinking she probably doesn't remember b/c I don't think I'm THAT big. I mean I look close to the end but wow I don't look like I'm gonna pop...well I don't think I do.

But it did get me thinking if I were to go early I do not have things packed and ready. I just have my mind set that I have a full 4 weeks left but that may not be the case. I need to at least have majority of my bag packed. So I guess I need to get crackin on that just so I don't feel unprepared.

I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow! How crazy!!!!

Saturday, December 17, 2011


So we had a very good day pee accidents. But Tommi was grabbing her butt all morning and I knew it meant she had to poop. But no matter how many trips we took to the bathroom she wouldn't go. Well right before nap she was playing with TJ and started hiding. Well it was bound to happen..."Mommy I pooped in my undies" Great Tommi! I didn't get mad just asked her to sit on the potty to see if she had to go more. She didn't sit long enough to even see if she had to. But you can definitely not force a 2 year old to stay on the toilet with out it seeming like punishment so she got up.

Well anyway...we even wore undies around the house some today and she did great. My only concern is she was drinking and made many trips to the potty but didn't pee much each time. So I am worried about a UTI...she says it doesn't hurt when she pees but who knows if she telling the truth.

Before church while I was showering Tommi was running around and TJ was in the other bathroom using the bathroom and Tommi came in with a little pen size flashlight that had poop on it and said she had some stuck in her "venus" and got it out with the flashlight. A bit weird since she said she didn't poop on the floor anywhere and we couldn't find any.

She peed before we left for church at 6 and then kept saying she had to go a few times while at church. But never did go until we were home and she went in little spurts (all one sitting) but she would go some and stop then go some and stop. I really hope she is not getting a UTI!

So other than the pooping she is doing WONDERFUL! I'm so proud of her! She knows she has to keep not having accidents to get her bike, piano, and Ariel...all the things she has been promised if she potty trains haha But my debate now is since she is pee trained does she get these things or should we all wait till she is poop trained too?!?! I think I may get her the Ariel on Monday when we go to town b/c it is a small gift and just tell her how proud of her I am. Then she can get the other presents with a little more time of doing good.

We ordered a potty for the car that came now when we are driving she wants to stop and try and pee in it every 5 minutes. The joys of a 2 year old and how new things excite them!

On a side note...Christmas is ONLY one week away!!! Time is flying by too fast! I am almost done with shopping just a few minor things to buy but nothing I can't knock out this week.

I have my 36 week dr appt on Thursday...I'm hoping they will still say we can go to VB for a few days. If not I may cry...actually I will b/c I have these plans of having Christmas with my family and seeing my bros and dad probably for the last time before I'm a mom of 2 girls!! Plus not sure I can explain to Tommi if we can't go down b/c she is pumped!

I think Tommi is more excited about giving people presents for Christmas than getting presents! She is SO my daughter...she can not keep a secret for long esp when it is about a present! hehe This is why I have had to hide what I have gotten almost everyone so she can't blab :) I just love her sweet, thoughtful heart! Another trait that is JUST like her Big Mama...she would rather give than receive! We all wish we were that way and say we are but when it is obvious to the people around you it is truly from the heart!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Losing it...

So things are going great with the potty training. Tommi and I ventured out to "town" today, which includes a 25 min drive one way. So we peed before leaving and made it to Target just in time to hear "I have to go potty mommy!" So we went in and it was a false alarm. Then we get to walking through the store "I have to go pee-pee!" So we turned right back around and another false alarm. Finally we got everything we needed or at least looked for it, at the check out "I have to go pee-pee" I told her just to hold on and we will in a min. She did hold on and peed, only a little but I was still relieved! I was over the false alarms!

Then we headed to Wal-mart figuring I had a bit b/c she was not drinking and we could make it home with out another bathroom trip. WRONG! As soon as we got there she said she had to go. I told her to wait we were gonna look for something then we would go. Oh no that is not the way it works. She kept saying "I really have to pee-pee!" So I figured we needed to go. And yet another false alarm. So we finished shopping and at the check out she said she needed to go again...I believe this was b/c we had just bought a travel seat cover thing for when we go to public toilets. She barely peed but she did produce something. haha

We made it home with no accidents! Yay!

This evening we went to grab a quick bite to eat and rent a movie. Well we made 5 trips to the bathroom in a matter of about an hour! Only one was productive! I almost lost it with the requests...but she insisted and I can only put her off so long.

So we had another accident free day...but I think she had to poop this evening just couldn't make herself go on the potty. Since she has been on an every other day schedule (weird for her but she has not been eating or drinking as much this week...not sure why) So lets all pray she is successful tomorrow!

I ordered a potty for the back of the car today which will be here tomorrow. This will be another weight off my shoulder b/c I will not feel like I have to find her a potty ASAP when we are driving. But it may lead to more stops for a bit b/c everytime she gets something new she likes to try it out over and over!

This child is crazy...I sure hope this false alarm phase is over by the time I have to venture out alone with Tommi and Monkey in a couple months.

BY THE WAY....I'm due in ONE month!!! Woah! So soon! I'm REALLY anxious but really nervous too. I can not wait to meet my babygirl but still am not sure how I'm gonna do with two children!! Life is about to change big time and I'm not sure I'm ready but ready or not!!

Also...I was a little thrown off how hard things have been leaning over and I remember it being hard with Tommi but not this hard. Well I looked at pictures and I'm definitely bigger now than I was at 35/36 weeks with Tommi. Plus I'm dealing with a toddler on top of it all but still I am definitely looking like I did at full term with Tommi. Not feeling full term but definitely looking it (at least for me I am)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Potty and allergic reaction!

Another great day! We did have one accident but I'm still happy with just one.

Tommi went all day with no accidents at home...I did not have the courage to venture out, plus I was not feeling the best so I wasn't in the mood to get dressed to face the world :) But we did not have an accident till we went to TJ's grandmas for dinner, where Tommi actually did pretty well. She did tell us she had to go a few times but they were false alarms. While playing under a table with her cousin, Tommi pooped in her undies. Grr! On a positive note...I didn't have to change her whole outfit only her undies. But still changing poopy undies is not as easy as poopy diapers...but we survived and I'm just hoping she will learn soon to tell me she has to go poop. From what I have read kids usually poop train before pee...but of course my kid is backwards!

Well when TJ's mom brought Tommi to me her face was super red. After closer investigation she had welts all over her a serious allergic reaction! I got her changed and then checked her face again and it only had some red marks left. She has a few scratches where the welts were so I am wondering if her cousin scratched her and she reacted to something on his hand or under his finger nails. Definitely weird...esp since she did not eat anything new. TJ's mom said it could have been the newspaper she was playing with but I have no idea. I gave her some benedryl before bed and put allergy cream on it. Hopefully it was a freak thing and will not happen again b/c it definitely freaked me out!

We went to the church after TJ's grandmas to help with some stuff for the Christmas play and on our way there Tommi said "I have to pee mommy" OH CRAP! I was not prepared once again but we were still close to home so I stopped at a restaurant parking lot and was gonna have her pee in a cup in the back of the car but she refused. So I took her in the restaurant (fast food place) and she barely tinkled. We made it all the way to the church...25 min drive. She said she didn't have to go when we got there, but when she did tell me she asked if she could do it in a cup...which was a crazy adventure. We went to the bathroom at least 5 times b/c she wanted to pee in the cup...every time it was a little tinkle. I finally got her on the toilet and she went...thank God!

We got home in one piece also with no accidents...she told me right after we left she needed to pee but I told her to just wait till we got home b/c I didn't think she really had to go. She likes to use it as a control thing I have found. So as long as she has not just drank she is gonna be ok. She likes to tell me only minutes after I leave her room in the evening that she has to go as a scheme to get out of bed...and I can not deny her b/c well maybe she does have to go. What a stinker!

My lesson learned...I need a potty in the back of the car and I also need a travel potty seat cover type thing so she is more secure on the big toilets. I have some paper-ish covers but they are a pain. A girl in my mom group told me about the perfect potty for the car and it doubles as a travel seat for the toilet. I'm gonna check at Target tomorrow to see if they have something similar to what she suggested but if not I'm ordering it.

I'm trying to learn to chill out some b/c I am SO annoying when we leave the house asking her every 5 min if she needs to go.

Also I'm super relieved to say TJ's aunt is gonna watch Tommi when I have my drs appt next week! Yay!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Day 3...

Tommi had NO accidents!!!

I did have to empty her potty at least 25 times due to little pees here and there, which I'm not sure if that is a good thing or bad. Well I know it is good...but a hassle when you are 8 months pregnant and getting up and down from the floor.

We did get dressed and venture out to TJ's parents house for dinner. I honestly expected an accident since she seems to think undies equal she can forget to go potty. But she did great. We were gone for about an hour and a half and she peed in the potty at their house twice!

I'm excited she is getting the hang out of it but hope she will learn to space things out more as time goes on. I really need to get out sometime, I do not like being cooped up so much! It is possible we may go out tomorrow to Target to get somethings we need. I'm a bit nervous so we will see if I can actually get the courage to do it.

I have found potty training is stressful b/c there is no right way. Every kid is so different and if your like us it can start before your prepared. I'm forever worried she is gonna have an accident, even though it is not a big deal at all when she does. Plus everything I've read has said it could be months before the accidents stop...I'm really NOT prepared for that...esp in public! I can handle one accident but what if she does it a few times while we are out. Maybe I'll have to invest in some training undies for trips out "just in case" b/c I'm most definitely not doing pull ups, they are glorified diapers and Tommi hates them!

So things have been going REALLY well but I'm still so nervous to see how things go. Honestly I'm just an emotional mess. On top of it all I'm not feeling my best...I am battling yet another impending sickness. Praying it doesn't progress any further b/c that will only add to my load right now.

I worry too much into the future too. Next Thursday I have a drs appt and I still have to find someone to watch Tommi and I'm nervous about asking someone to watch a potty training toddler. I guess I just have to hope she will be doing better by then and will not be such a handful. This is when I wish my mom lived closer or TJ's mom didn't have to work...b/c leaving such a task with her grandmothers is not a worry for me. I guess my only option is to ask TJ's aunt Connie to see if she can do long as she is available she will not care. Guess we will see...why I'm stressing now is just crazy!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Late night pee...

Tommi just woke up at 11pm and said she needed to go pee. Sure enough she had to go. But I was hoping we would not be doing all this yet. I hardly have the energy to do it during the day, now the up and down at night too! I sure hope not!

Day 2

Day 2 of potty training was stressful and interesting but we had a little more success.

Tommi still insisted on no diapers. She did wake up wet which was to be expected. So with out going through a total play by play of the day here is what went on.

I discovered undies give Tommi the ok to pee. I do not understand it! So after 2 little accidents, she ran around in only a t-shirt till nap time. Basically due to the fact I didn't have time to get all her undies clean and I ran out of pairs for her to wear. Well as long as she had no undies on she did great! I brought the potty into the living room so it would be there to remind her. Plus she would not go back to the bathroom when I asked so I figured whatever lets bring it to her.

She sat on the potty alot so I was happy about that. When she went down for her nap I did put a diaper on her b/c she hates pull ups. But she woke up dry and peed in the potty a little bit after waking up! YAY!

Finally her undies were clean by this time and since she had just peed I figured she would be good. Well only minutes later she peed in her undies, I got her changed and into clothes to go to TJ's grandmas for dinner. We talked all about her telling me when she had to go and we would go quick so she didn't miss out on good play time with her cousin. Well while playing she had another accident, she did ask to go to the potty after that but it was too late. Thankfully I packed extra leggings just for this reason. After leaving we had to run to the grocery store and to get gas. In that time she never went in her undies. As soon as we got home we sat on the potty and she peed! I left her with only her dress on and she sat on the potty a bunch of times and did little she knows.

After a while Tommi was playing and came out from behind TJ's recliner crying, she said she had pooped and was tore up about it! I felt so bad for her. She was so upset. But I didn't make a big deal I cleaned her up and cleaned up the mess (which was in the top to her blocks so that made it much easier) I told her all she had to do was tell me and she seems to understand. This was the first time we have really talked about pooping so hopefully she will be better next time.

She succeeded the rest of the night with no accidents! Yay! So the key is NO undies. Hopefully she will get it and then we can start wearing clothes again haha. This would be easier in the summer when we don't have to bundle up to go outside.

So I guess in the long run things got better and she is understanding her body more. But I sure am worn out...with ups and downs all day of emptying pee and wiping her and cleaning up accidents (which were VERY minor today so mainly just on her and not the floor)

I would not recommend potty training at 8 months pregnant but I guess it is just how it works! We have dirtied 2 diapers in 2 days...I like the sound of that!

I'm just praying really hard this continues to get easier b/c I'm tired!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Potty training?!?!

I'm about as shocked as they come that I am using the words potty training and Tommi in the same sentence.

So Tommi has been completely against potty training. To the point she says she is gonna show Monkey how to pee in the potty but she is gonna still wear diapers. If I ask if she wants to try on the potty she totally flips and does not want anything to do with it.

Well last night she was running around naked before her bath and peed a little on the floor. When we were waiting for the tub to fill up, I asked her if she want to try to pee on the potty. To my complete surprise she sat on her potty and PEED! I thought ok she did it but like all the other times she would not do it again for a while.

This morning she called and told Big Mama about her peeing so she could get her dollar. Then she decided she wanted to put on undies. I went with it and she didn't pee for the longest time...we even made a quick VERY nervous trip to the grocery store and post office. I asked her a bunch of times if she had to go and she refused saying she didn't. When we got home I got her to sit on the potty for all of a few seconds then she was off to watch her daily Barney (Yeah never thought I would say my child watches it but she loves it) anyway, while watching Barney she stood up and had a puddle under her. She kept telling me sorry and HATED being wet. So I cleaned it up and changed her into a new pair of undies (she insisted to keep wearing undies)

Nap time came and I put her diaper over her undies in case she went while sleeping. She woke up totally dry and asked to go to the potty. And she actually went!!! She was super excited! Then a couple hours later we were making dinner and I noticed a wet spot on her undies. She had accidentally gone a little and didn't tell me. So we changed her yet again into new undies. After dinner we headed out to TJ's volleyball game and I put a pull up over her undies just in case during the car ride. We got to the YMCA and I tried sitting her on the potty to see how it went, she didn't go. She then started playing with one of her friends at the game. I asked her every time I could if she needed to go and she said no. But after a bit I checked and she had gone, so I took her to the potty to take her undies off b/c I didn't want her sitting in wet pants. She was mad I made her stop playing so that is why she didn't want to tell me she had to go or that she had went.

We went to Walmart afterwards...yeah we like to push limits...but we had to go to get her more undies b/c she is gonna keep this up 3 pair is not enough. She was SO excited to pick out new "big girl undies". I asked her while we were shopping if she needed to go and to my surprise she said yes. So we went and sat on the yucky public toilet...but SHE WENT! Yay!

Thankfully I had thrown the other 2 pair of undies in the washer before we left so I got those dry as fast as I could b/c she was panicked she didn't have any to wear when we got home.

So before bed she tried to go one more time but couldn't go. So she went to bed with a diaper over her undies. Lets see how tonight goes. I can for see being called for ALOT so she can try and go potty. But I guess we will see.

Honestly as much as I've been stressing her resistance I am NOT ready for this now. I'm due in 5 weeks and do not really have the energy for this but I'm not gonna stop her b/c maybe it will work out well. I just hope if this is a success that she will not regress when Monkey comes.

So I guess only time will tell...

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Monkey sister...

Tommi has been all about her sister this evening. First she came up and was hugging my belly while I was sitting on the couch, while doing this she told me "I want Monkey sister to come out." I asked her why and she said "B/c I miss her."

Then she was taking a bath and randomly said "Mommy, can Monkey sister come out? I really love her." I told her it will not be long. She said "I'm gonna share ALL my toys with her!" With all emphasised:)

I sure hope she feels this way when her sister gets here. I love her hearing her talk about her excitement and tell me how she loves her sister already!

Monkey has been doing all kinds of shifts and funky movements today. For a short bit I actually had a belly button b/c she was pushing out on both sides of it making it like a valley in the middle. It cracks me up! I'm cherishing every moment and movement b/c I know how much I'm gonna miss it.

I'm not feeling the best body wise back has taken a toll today and I'm having alot of pain in my inner thighs. But this all happen with Tommi too esp on days I am on the move alot. So nothing a little R&R can not fix!

On a totally different note...I think I'm getting sick! I am achey all over! I do not wanna get sick!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Looked back... my blog from when I was 34 weeks pregnant with Tommi and I was on the ball with her. I had my bags, TJs bag, and Tommis bag all packed for the hospital by this point. This time...I only have Monkeys (mostly) packed but that is only b/c Tommi found out her sister will be naked when she is born and she insisted we had to get her clothes together. But otherwise I'm totally unprepared if I were to go early. Maybe I'm putting it off b/c I feel like it will cause me not to go early. But I am not doing all that stuff till after January 1st b/c I don't want to think about it yet. I wanna be pregnant for another full 5 weeks and 1 day from today at least....that would put me at January 14th and I can handle that.

Just a note:
We went to the mall tonight to get an ornament for Tommi and brain storm a bit for presents for the nephews. Tommi wanted to hold both TJ and I's hands and jump/swing/hang as we walked. After a while I had to finally say to TJ when we got to the As seen on TV store, where Tommi loves to play with all the toys..."you hang out with Tommi and let her play, I'm going out and sitting down." My lower stomach and upper thighs hurt from the weight and braxton hicks were getting more common. Sitting down was a miracle! I felt so much better!

I have been feeling so good lately and able to keep up with Tommi (most of the time) but tonight my body was not agreeing. After we came home and I was able to relax I feel a whole lot legs and stomach are sore but I can deal with that.

I have said this a million times but I am SO glad we waited a full 2 years before getting pregnant again...I don't know how moms with kids close together do it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


After reading a blog by a friend, I remembered what Tommi told me the other day and it cracked me up.

First off, we have been having the debate in our house on what to do with santa. Well not a debate just discussing the decision on how to handle him. TJ has always felt it was a lie to tell her santa brings her gifts, where I was not totally sure b/c I thought santa was a fun idea. But as I have thought about it I realized I want to emphasize Jesus' birthday more and take all the credit for the presents. So santa in our house is kinda just a guy who is around at Christmas but totally on the back burner until Tommi has more questions later of how he ties into it all. But I am not explaining anything till she ask about him. But somewhere she did hear that santa brings kids presents and comes to your house on Christmas. Well Tommi told me "Mommy I do not want santa coming to my house...I don't like him!" I told her he is not coming so she has nothing to worry about.

So I have been telling her Christmas is to celebrate Jesus' birthday, family, and the fun decorations. She LOVES decorations....but I'll talk about that in a minute. I'm not totally sure how to explain why we give presents other than that Jesus wants us to give presents to those we love as his birthday present. Tommi didn't ask for more explanation so I was happy about that...b/c that is a strange concept for a 2.5 year old.

When I first told Tommi Christmas is Jesus' birthday and she got teary eyed. I asked her what was wrong and she said "We need to go to heaven and make him a cake...but how do we get there?" My first thought...WOW I have an amazing little girl who loves making others happy and of course loves any reason for cake. I am proud. But I found out while talking to her she was totally serious and wanted an answer. So I told her one day we will have a big birthday party and make him a cake in heaven but until then we are gonna stay here and make him a cake and we will enjoy it as a family and just sing to him. Another bullet is tough having a 2 year old who is full of questions and expects a "real" answer. But in the same moment I LOVE it!

So on to decorations...this will be TJ and I's 6th Christmas as a married couple. Well we have never had a tree b/c #1 I didn't feel it was needed and #2 we have not had the space. Well this year I really wanted to have one b/c Tommi is old enough to notice and I think it is a fun tradition, so in a nesting mode we figured out a way to move things around so we have room for a small tree(well 6ft but slim). Well I had NO idea what was to come...Tommi got SO excited and thanks us daily for her tree and ornaments. I did not expect that one...I knew she would notice but not to the point she has, it is almost magical. So setting up our tree and putting ornaments on it was a family event and SO much fun! My lost love for Christmas was totally found when I watched her eyes light up as we set it all up. Then came the Christmas lights...we never talked about them then when others around us put them up we would put them out to her...ANOTHER magical moment! She lit up!!! Tommi loves admiring all the lights every time we drive at night! I just have to say Christmas has a WHOLE new meaning for me. The simple joy of a child is SO amazing!!!

I'm not a big Christmas person...I always thought it was kinda annoying how you are expected to give gifts when you have no idea what to get someone so you just buy to buy. Now I'm really putting a bit more effort into it and less worried about spending the right amount of money on everyone. If I give what I know they will enjoy or need and feel happy about it then it is just right. Some people are still hard to shop for but I am starting to worry less and just let it all work itself out.

Christmas is gonna be SO much fun this year b/c Tommi is really starting to understand and get excited about it!

One last funny Tommi moment...we were in the car with my mom and my mom was telling Tommi how we are going to her house at Christmas and she will have lots of presents to open. Tommi asked what was in the present and mom said toys so she will have to wait and see what they are. Tommi got super disappointed and said "But I wanted books!" hahahaha Seriously!?!? What 2 year old gets disappointed about toys b/c she wanted books. But that is all she tells me that she wants for Christmas....books and a dollhouse. I love it!

Tommi and her tree...excuse the cup, she would not put it down but wanted a picture taken of her and the tree :)

34 week appt...

So I had my 34 week appt today. Monkey is doing great, head down and happy as a clam! The dr didn't tell me the heartbeat but it is there and beating nicely!

So that is the happy part, here comes the vent. So I had been seeing the same dr every time and he is always on time, give or take a min here and there but that is normal for a dr. Well this time I went with another dr that I had only met once before, well low and behold as I sit in the waiting room the minutes keep going by. I had mom there hanging out with Tommi and so that helped but still frustrating. Well as I sit there I find out I have 2 people in front of me to see the dr and they had been waiting over an hour...GREAT! It took all I had not to reschedule and leave but since I had mom and I really didn't want to go back out there this week I stayed. An hour after my appt time...I get called back, I go back and wait another 15 mins only to see the dr for all of 5 minutes of which 3 of those minutes she is wasting time talking slow and asking me dumb questions. "Look lady, I have had a baby before I know what is going on stop babying me and check her heartbeat so I can leave." I am usually very patient but if you don't seem to care about my time I sure do not care about yours! Esp 4 of the other 5 drs can see me on time every time you are just too slow and can't keep up!

So finally we got to leave and get lunch and go home. I just hate it b/c this day was supposed to be 20 min at drs office then mom, Tommi, and I could enjoy our girls day together and take our time hanging out, not rushing to eat and get mom home so she can leave. Grrr!

So I have my next appt at 36 weeks and will find out for sure if I can go to VB for Christmas. Thank the Lord it is with a dr who is on time and knows what he is doing! No more female slow poke drs for me...I'm sticking to my faves for the rest of the pregnancy. If the woman have to deliver my baby I just hope they are on time b/c I will not wait on them. The OB nurses are qualified to deliver for me. I sure hope Dr N, Dr W, or Dr B are there to deliver her so I can feel relaxed and taken care of.

Now time can slow down b/c I'm not ready to be done with this pregnancy!

Monday, December 5, 2011


I may have a singer on my hands! Tommi LOVES singing! She will sit in the car and make up songs just to sing, it is great.

Right now the songs that she loves singing that are not just random or blurbs from other songs are: Jesus loves me, Jesus loves the little children, Twinkle little star, Bringing home a baby bumble bee, Skidamarink, ABCs, and Hush little baby (which is our own little version) I am pretty impressed how she remembers the words to all her songs. (Exactly why if you say something in front of her and she hears it...know it is stored for life and will come out at any given moment haha)

One night Tommi told me to sing her a new song so I started singing Hush Little Baby. Well after the first couple lines I totally was lost and not thinking she would pick up on it I made a couple lines...well they stuck! She thinks my version is how the song goes now and that is how she sings it! Here is Tommi and my version...

Hush little baby don't say a word
Mamas gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don't sing
Mamas gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring don't shine
Mamas gonna buy you a punkin' pie
And if that punkin' pie doesn't taste good
Mamas gonna buy you a twinkle star

In the moment it was all I could come up with...well now it just cracks me up. Seriously could I not think of something that at least rhymed :) I'm not good at improv as everyone can see! But Tommi loves and that is all that matters! Plus the actual words are weird (I looked them up later) so I like my version better!

She has the cutest singing voice and will not perform on command but if anyone spends more than an hour with her or rides in the car with her they will definitely hear it.

Tommi is still such an amazing little girl. I wish everyone could be a fly on the wall on a good day with her. She just has a way of saying things and her expressions that cracks me up. I have no idea how I can ever say no to her but I guess I have learned I have to. Oh and the hands on the hips attitude is totally adorable. It is not only when she is upset but she can just do it when she is making a point or anytime really! It is great! She can basically melt her daddy to mush with the way she asks for things sometimes. It makes me laugh b/c I know how bad he wants to say no sometimes but a sweet "Daddy will you hold my hands while I jump?" is hard to resist!

On a "bad day" she can really be a pistol but we are learning together how to deal and thankfully a day totally full of attitude and fits is rare. Usually a good nap or "time out" alone in her room fixes her right up.

With all the fun Tommi is I can not wait to meet little monkey and see all her personality...she will learn from the best! I'm in for trouble.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

It is official...

I think I am at the coolest place in my life so far!

I have such an amazing 2.5 year old who makes me smile almost (that is a big almost) every moment of the day. Plus I'm pregnant with another amazing kid! Being pregnant still is so amazing to me. I will be honest and say I look in the mirror (and sometimes windows) anytime I pass one. Not b/c I think I look so good or am vain, but b/c I am growing a human! That is just awesome in itself. I know I have done it before but I'm still amazed and in awe of the amazing gift and honor God has given me.

Things in life may not be perfect...I'll admit I can not wait to finally build a house and be totally comfortable. But why not embrace where I am?! I mean I am not only a mom to the most amazing little girl ever and have another one on the way but I am totally in love with my husband. Plus I am able to stay home and watch my babies grow up...that is really a blessing in this day.

I want to soak up every moment of life RIGHT NOW b/c in the blink of an eye it will all be over.

Plus on top of all that I have a super amazing family and the support of so many others who help make life a bit easier!

God is SO good!!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

32 weeks

We had our 32 week dr appt on Wednesday, which included an ultrasound! TJ came with me so he could see our little monkey too. It really was not all that exciting the lady did all the measurements and didn't show us much. She DID confirm we are definitely having another girl! I definitely felt some relief with that confirmation b/c I have everything ready for another baby girl.

All her measurements were AMAZING! She is right on track! Dr. Nelsen gushed about how "perfect" everything was and how I am doing a great job! YAY! TJ and I both got a kick out of the u/s tech and the dr going on about how perfect she was. I mean we know she is perfect but to hear it from them was cool :)

She is a little over 4lbs so we are on target for her to be 7.5 to 8 lbs (at full term). I'm good with that, not too little not too big!

I'm feeling pretty good. Normal 8 month pregnant pains and braxton hicks but otherwise pregnancy is still treating me very well! Even the 2nd time around I am so amazed at how amazing the human body when it comes to producing another human life! It is just cool and the fact I am able to do it again makes all the discomfort worth it!

Thanksgiving was this week and it was good. We were able to spend it in VB and had a blast. I was not able to eat as much as I'd like (I LOVE Thanksgiving food!)due to the limited space in my abdomen. But I definitely enjoyed all I had and my last Thanksgiving as a mom of 1!

I'm SO Thankful for my amazing life! I am SO blessed!

Sunday, November 20, 2011


The other day Tommi was wanting one snack after another. I told her "You are gonna get fat if you don't stop eating." She looked at me totally serious and said "Like you mommy?" haha
I think I have been saying I look fat a little too much!

Today in the car Tommi was whining about taking her shoes off so I told her. If you take them off again I'm gonna smack your butt. (Yes I spank my child but the threats are very effective so it is rare) Tommi said "You can't spank my booty, I'm sitting on it!" haha Again is she really only 2 and a half?!?!

Thursday, November 17, 2011


While I was rocking Tommi this evening and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with thoughts of how she will do with out me when I go into labor. She is still super pumped for the extra special time with Big Mama. But I think of how she still sometimes wakes up in the night and wants me to rock her and gets sad b/c she "misses me" when I'm not with her. Thankfully I know my mom will keep her distracted but I still can not help but worry. In my heart I know she will do great but I can't help but worry about my mommas girl!

Another thing I was thinking about is how things are gonna play out while I am in labor. If I could plan it...I would be able to put Tommi in bed for the night then head to the hospital and have someone wait here at the house till my mom got here. So Tommi can wake up to Big Mama and they can spend the day "playing" or doing whatever Tommi wants. She can visit me briefly if wanted then leave until I am about to have her. Then after I have Monkey, TJ can go out in the waiting room and get Tommi bring her in to "meet" her baby sister. Only after she meets her do I want everyone else to come in. Since Tommi LOVES showing her things off to others I want her to get to "show off" her little sister for the first time plus at that point she can wear her "Big sister" shirt with Monkeys real name to announce it to everyone.

I just want to make sure Tommi is the first to "meet" Monkey and also the one who is able to announce her name. If I have her in the middle of the night I would love to not let anyone come visit till the morning when Tommi gets there.

I do not want Tommi hanging out at the hospital while I'm in labor b/c I know how nervous hospitals make her and it is just not needed...esp with technology! I can keep everyone up to date on when things are getting "serious".

If my labor/birth is anything like last time it will go so much better than I expect. But I can't help but wonder when and how it will all play out.

Guess only the Lord knows and all I can do is share my wishes with those around me and then just trust things will go well for Tommi. I just can't help but have anxiety about it not only being my first time away from Tommi for an extended period of time (even if it is only a few hours) but her not being shocked or thrown off my things.

I've got about 8 weeks (hopefully) to pray hard things go well and I can be calm and let go of control :)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Large lady...

So at 31 weeks I am feeling very large...I get mixed reactions from others. Some being shocked I'm not due for 2 more months others saying I'm so small. I feel anything but small. I wish I didn't know how much I have gained b/c it just bugs me. It is in the VERY normal range but I had a 18 lbs weight gain pregnancy the first time so I was a bit spoiled. But I guess it is my fault, I have not been as good about my eating this time. It is ok though b/c the drs have yet to comment about it and I know it is "normal".

Well here is the Monkey belly...

Tommi does not like the way my belly looks, she "checks" it daily and tells me "Your belly is weird" and "When Monkey sister gets here you will get your belly back" Thanks for the encouragement, jerk! My belly button is what causes the comments. It is no longer an innie, it is a flatie haha

Today Tommi helped me babysit a friend of mines little girl. She is almost 4 months old. My friend Lauren mentioned me babysitting and I thought it would be a good thing to see how Tommi does one on one with a baby and also see how I do with 2 kids. Well Tommi was such a huge help, getting things for me and just wanting to hold her and love her. She drew her pictures and "read" her books. I actually had a blast and feel much more confident that I can do 2 kids. I know it is gonna be tough at times but I think overall I will be ok. I have been SO nervous about managing 2 kids and still am but believe in myself a bit more now. We are still gonna have to do some work with the little things of how gentle she has to be with a baby but I think that will come. I lived through it with a rough big brother like Chase. So Monkey should be ok.

Tommi did tell me a few times to give the baby back to her mommy but that has just started us on the conversation of "I am Monkeys mommy too" So hopefully she will understand I can't give her back when she gets here.

Yay for a loving big sister!! I'm gonna try my hardest to enjoy the next 2 months as much as crappy as things are sometimes I still love pregnancy! Although I do not think I will go early, I am praying that I won't b/c I want to be at least out of the holiday season.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

30 weeks

30 weeks sounds crazy!

So I had my 30 week appt today! Everything was good...I'm measuring on target and she has a strong heartbeat!

Here is a lesson for my dr (a male)...keep your pregnant patient informed of EVERYTHING!!!!!!

I think I mentioned it last time that my dr had requested I see him at the next appt (todays appt). I was a bit thrown off but let it slide. Well today when scheduling my appt the front desk lady was trying to fit me in b/c it just so happens my 2 week appt is supposed to be the day before Thanksgiving. So anyway...she had to schedule an ultrasound (YAY!) and then my appt with the dr. Well again Dr. Nelsen suggested I see him so she was trying to squish me in since he is super busy. She made the comment "He is gonna be super busy on Wednesday but he said he wants to see you so he must have something he is monitoring or something" Well now that got me worried. I'm totally cool with seeing him every time but thought it was totally weird. So I worried and debated till I got home and I e-mailed the office to ask if I was being kept in the dark for some reason. The nurse called me back and said she talked to him and he thought I had mentioned I didn't want to see one of the other drs in the office and he forgot to write down which one so he thought he would just continue to see me so I didn't have to see someone I didn't want to. She said "You may or may not have had this conversation with him, he sees alot of patients so he is bound to get something mixed up." I had never talked to him about this but do have one dr in the office I do not want to see b/c she is NEVER on time. So I guess he just read my mind. But they said I'm free to see whoever. I do want to see him for this next appt b/c of the ultrasound. I totally trust him with making sure things are going well! But this is proof I read too much into things :)

So next appt he wants to do an ultrasound to get a good estimate of how big Monkey is! I am soo excited! I was thinking it would be so cool for Tommi to see but she has informed me she is NOT going b/c the ultrasound is "too loud" and it "rumbles". So thankfully TJ's mom is off work and can watch her. This is nice also b/c the only time I could get an appt is 830am....meaning leaving the house at 8am! Eek! Not cool when I have a little girl who likes to sleep. So I can just get her up as we are walking out the door and take her in her jammies and all to his moms house. No need to worry about waking up, dressing, and feeding a grumpy tired child. She told me after my appt I have to come pick her up and show her the pictures of "Monkey sister" though, so she is excited about it just doesn't want to be there for the "loud rumbling tv screen" Whatever Tommi! I'm super excited TJ gets to come with me too! Since it is hunting season they don't leave to go to the first job till 930 so he can come to the ultrasound then leave and meet his dad in time for work! Yay!

Tommi is in love with blowing "zerberts" on my belly! She thinks it is so funny and really gets into it. Tonight while I was putting her to bed, we were saying her prayers and while I'm praying I hear "One more zerbert mommy!" I stopped and said "Tommi we need to pray no zerberts right now" In which she responded "But zerberts are fun" I said "What about praying?" She very seriously said "Praying is good too!" I couldn't help but crack up! Note, after the last zerbert we had serious prayer...Jesus will understand!

Life is good! I definitely am feeling like I'm on the last leg of this trip but trying to love and embrace every minute I have left b/c I know it will be over before I know it and I will miss it!

Monday, October 31, 2011


This is the first year Tommi got the whole trick or treat thing which made it SO much fun! She has been excited about dressing up and getting candy for a week or so now. She even had the "trick or treat" saying down and knew that was how she got candy.

My SIL asked me if I could take my youngest nephew (he is 10)with us...Tommi heard her ask and has been super excited. She LOVES her cousin Sam...she says he is her best friend. He is so good about playing with her and including her in everything.

Well trick or treating was a success with very few incidents with Tommi being scared...which I'm super thankful for. Sam was such a help and made it so much more fun for Tommi to have a "buddy". She had a blast asking every house, "where are we going next?" Up here we have to drive from house to house and only go to friends and family, well with that it took us 2 hours! We were all worn out by the end but had lots of candy and had alot of fun.

After getting back to TJ's moms house to drop Sam off. Tommi wanted to stay and play she spent over an hour running around playing with Sam some more. Then as we were leaving she asked if we could do it again tomorrow! haha If she doesn't sleep like a log tonight I'm gonna be shocked. She was SO tired but had such a great night!

She was a cowgirl...the outfit was supposed to "fit a 2 to 4 year old" but was just right on her. The hat needed to be barely fit her head and she didn't want to wear it most of the time b/c it wouldn't stay on.

Not sure what is up with this face but I LOVE it!

Mommy, Tommi, and Monkey :)

At the first stop...TJ's moms. I love Sam's costume!

Sunday, October 30, 2011


So I have NO idea what it is like to have 2 kids...and to be honest I think almost daily...Am I REALLY ready for this? Did I rush things? etc. But the truth is I'm 29 weeks (tomorrow) pregnant with my 2nd baby and have no choice at this point. Nor would I change it for anything in the world! This girl already has my heart!

But today while trying to get ready to head over to my MIL's for Sunday dinner I thought to myself. I think I spaced my children pretty well. It will definitely be tough b/c Tommi is most definitely my baby and still wants to feel that way BUT she is also so independent and such a help I think we are gonna be ok. As I was getting dressed she went in her room and grabbed her coat and shoes and brought them to me to help her. This sounds little but it is such a big help. I can definitely see myself saying "Tommi can you go grab me a (fill in the blank)?" She WANTS to help almost all the time. Yes sometimes she makes a bigger mess than I would but it is the thought that counts.

I'm just so proud of my little girl. She is growing up and just so much fun! Definitely hard to handle at times and tests my patients some nights but over all I am very thankful and very fortunate to have such a sweet baby girl!

She is so excited for "monkey sister". She talks about her all the time and wants me to have her now! I do not think she has the slightest clue how much life is gonna change but hey neither did I when I had her and she survived so it will be ok! :)

So I'm still flopping between "How am I gonna do this?" and "I'm gonna rock as a mom of 2." More the first but many have done it before me so I will definitely survive.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Too funny...

Since Tommi keeps me cracking up all day and I can't remember the half of it, I am gonna continue to write down when I do.

Tommi and I were laying in bed after she got up from her nap and my stomach rumbled/growled. She gasped and said "Monkey sister is saying something." I asked her what she is saying and she said "That she wants to come out now and ride the carousel."

Tommi went into her room this evening and picked out her clothes. She came back into my room and said sighed. I asked her what is wrong and she said "It has been a long day!" Wow Tommi and her tough life!

The things that go through her head amaze me.


Tommi just pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me.

Tommi: What's happenin, mom?
Me: I don't know what is happenin with you?
Tommi: I don't know, but I love you!
Me: I love you too!
Tommi: Sounds good...I'll talk to you later.

Seriously?!?! I love her!


About 2 weeks ago I noticed a rash on Tommi's face, right below her lip on the right side. I figured she is like her mommy and gets rashes that come and go. Like an allergic reaction to stuff. But since it had been there 2 weeks and keeping it dry and benadryl had not worked, I took her to the dr.
It is a fungal infection (ringworm type thing)....eww how gross. OK so it isn't uncommon esp in kids but yuck it just sounds gross. So the dr just said to buy some anti-fungal cream at the store and put it on her 3 times a day. I didn't think too much into it till I got to the store and anti-fungal cream is JOCK ITCH cream hahaha It had a pic of a mans groin on it! And I'm supposed to put this on my sweet little girls face?!?! I guess so! The dr said it may take 4-6 weeks to go away.

I'm just totally weirded out putting jock itch cream on her face!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


While driving this evening Tommi said "Mommy why do bears grrrrr?" "Do you mean why do they growl?" She said "Yeah" I explained that is how they communicate and "talk" to each other. They don't just do it when they are angry, they do it when they are telling each other stuff, like ducks quack and dogs bark. She liked this answer, which I'm thankful for b/c I was not sure how else to explain it.

She asks questions I never thought a 2.5 year old would ever think of. She wants to know how everything works and why.

She also told me today while eating an apple that she was eating it so she could have lots of energy to play. Where did she learn food gave you energy I will never know but it is totally awesome.

I wish I could videotape our lives and conversations daily. I could never remember it all and it is definitely some good stuff. Her intelligent talking actually amazed a lady at the drs today who had her daughter there who was a month older than Tommi. She just couldn't get over how well Tommi talked and how well mannered she was....PROUD MOMMY MOMENT! I can't take credit for it all, I think she is just smart on her own but I do feel like I must be doing something right.

Another reason this post is named growling b/c Tommi growls alot now. When she gets mad she growls out of frustration but she also does it when she is trying to be silly. When she is being silly we act like it scares us and she tells us "Mommy I'm just pretending" or "Daddy don't be scared it is just me"

I love this girl....not sure how my heart can grow much more to fit enough love for the both of my girls but know it will! But I am praying Monkey is a little more laid back b/c 2 big personalities might be a bit much. But my mom did survive my big brother and I so it is do able!

28 weeks!

I had my monthly appt today...due to not doing the glucose test last appt I had to do it today. Since I am the overbearing mother I am (I am not afraid to admit, I hate leaving Tommi) I took Tommi with me. I knew the appt was at 10am and by the time I had my appt and then waited an hour to get my blood drawn then got home I would have had to pack a lunch for her and feel guilty b/c I left her with someone for so long. I will say had my mom been up or TJ's mom had the day off I would have had no problem leaving her with them. I just feel bad depending on anyone who isn't her grandparent or super close. Even though she loves spending time with others and does so well that I can do it with out worry. Enough about that.

I talked to Tommi yesterday and this morning before we went, telling her all about my appt, how things would go, etc. She has a fear of strange men, so I thought meeting my dr might upset her and she also fears doctors offices so I had to have her prepared. I packed books to read, a notebook and pen to color in, and snacks just in case. Well she was a dream she listened like an angel and was far better than I expected. Thankfully they gave me the drink at the beginning of my appt so I wouldn't have to wait another hour after the appt. So after checking the heartbeat and fundal height like the standard appt we only had to sit in the waiting room about a half hour till I got my blood draw. Which when the lady who draws the blood saw I had Tommi with me she made a face b/c Tommi would have to stand in the hallway (3 ft from me). But I knew this was the case and knew Tommi wasn't going to run off and act like a nut just b/c I was not right next to her. So I got my blood drawn and we were done! Yay!

Since Tommi was such a dream I told her we could go to Chick-fil-a and play with the "town kids". TJ and his dad were in Harrisonburg working so they were able to meet us for lunch...which was a highlight for Tommi and I both. We LOVE seeing daddy during the day even if it is only for a minute or so. Anyway...Tommi was a bit of a handful while eating but was again a dream when it was time to play and actually for the rest of the day.

When they first called us back at the dr and the nurse was weighing me and taking my blood pressure. Tommi asked the nurse "Are you gonna take my monkey sister out yet?" The nurse was totally thrown off till I explained she calls the baby "her monkey sister" . It was priceless!

So I'm feeling good. I do have heartburn alot but some days are worse than others. Otherwise I feel really good, definitely feel like I'm waddling due to inner thigh pain from pressure I assume but I can deal. Monkey girl is CRAZY these days!!! It is the best!

Monday, October 24, 2011


I am figuring out how much Tommi really understands and puts things together. It amazes me!

This week both my brothers got engaged....I know I posted about my little bro but have not had a chance to post about my big brother. He asked his gf Heather to marry him on Saturday!!! The Llew crew is growing quickly!

So we have been talking alot about weddings in our house. Tommi is all about it! Wearing pretty dresses, walking down the aisle, when everyone walks down, where they stand, on and on.

Tommi has just started to notice and get that Mommy and Daddy had a wedding and likes seeing pictures from it.

At TJ's parents house they have a picture of him and me from the wedding and she looks over at it when we eat and says "Awe Mommy, you married daddy!"

The other day she was in the car and made 2 little animal figures kiss. I asked her what she was doing and she said "They are kissing like you and daddy!" I know she sees us kiss but it is cute to know she actually notices. She is so sweet!

So Tommi is now gonna be a flower girl X 3 this year! She is so ready! Also my little brothers fiancee asked me to be a bridesmaid (what an honor!) so I will be in their wedding and Tommi loves to talk about me being a bridesmaid.

2012 is gonna be an amazing year...Jan-my 2nd baby girl is born, April or May- my big brother is getting married, and June-my little bro gets married! I'm super excited!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Little brother...

Last night my little brother proposed to his girlfriend...I can not believe he is old enough to be getting married. (and this is coming from someone who was married when she was 20 haha) He is 23 so he definitely is old enough.

He is by far one of the most amazing men alive. I have always said the woman who ended up with him would be one of the luckiest girls ever. Well Katie is definitely very lucky! As is Luke (my brother) his fiance is a beautiful girl with a great family! And the best part about her is...she makes my little brother VERY happy! So how can I not love her!?!?

He had a super romantic proposal and after had a "party" for all their close friends to celebrate with them a little. I was not able to go due to it being on a Tuesday and I had just been down visiting. But since I got to see the ring and hear all the plans before I felt a little less left out. But I was definitely sad I missed it b/c I was sitting at home wanting to hug them both so bad b/c I'm just so happy for them!

So I'm gonna have a new sis-in-law...the first on the Llewellyn side!

Tommi is SUPER excited! She was jumping up and down when I told her last night. Then today while eating with TJ's parents she announced "Lukey and Katie are getting married and they are gonna have a baby!" hahaha Now I know kids are in the future but I don't imagine for a couple years at least. Tommi is just so ready to have kids to play with when we go to VB!

Tommi has it all planned out...Katie has to find a pretty wedding dress, then find a pretty dress for Tommi, and buy some petals so she can throw them down the aisle!...She is super excited to be a flower girl. It is amazing to hear her little plan!

So now Tommi is gonna be a flower girl twice this summer...Luke and Katie and our friends Chad and Liz. The weddings may only be a week apart so this could be interesting, esp with a new baby.

Yay!!!! I'm SOOOO excited!


I was on a friend’s blog and she was talking about the things she wants her kids to remember about her and their home. So it got me thinking and I found that the things I want my children to remember about me and cherish when they are older are actually pretty simple. They come A LOT from my own upbringing and the memories I cherish the most.

The lists may change with time and as I am a mom longer but for now here is my list….

The things I’d like my kids to remember…

• I loved the Lord and served him in my everyday life.

• That I was real…I was not perfect…I made mistakes.

• I loved their daddy with all my heart...and showed him!

• I was not ashamed of who I am! I danced, I sang (off key) and laughed at myself! (This one TOTALLY comes from things I love about my own mom)

• I was kind to others and treated people with respect.

• They were my focus…not the dust bunnies or the dishes that could be done later.

• That our home was a safe, comfortable, and fun place for them and their friends.

• No matter what…I am ALWAYS there and they can come to me for anything!

• I want them to remember they were loved beyond their wildest dreams…a God-like love. One they never doubted and was there no matter how many times they turned their back on it.

I hope my kids look back one day and say…Life was SO good when I was a kid! I want my kids to be kids…and totally enjoy it b/c it is such a short time in life!

I look back at my own childhood and no matter the tough times I had with friends, my brothers, and even my parents. I always loved being part of my family…I was actually proud to be a Llewellyn (and still am). We are the type of family people want to be a part of…even with all our crazy imperfections!

I hope one day my kids look back and feel fortunate to be part of our family. I know in someway they will but I want them to have pride in who their parents are and siblings.