Hmm...

Well here I am the day before my due date trying my hardest to not look at my tickers b/c they all say one day and that is hard for me. I am basically convinced I'm not gonna have this baby for at least another week. Not b/c that is what I want but b/c I have had everything so good this whole pregnancy that now I have to get the crappy end of the stick by going "overdue".

Maybe the combo of all the hormones and the fact I already have clinical depression add to my mood right now. I'm trying really hard to be patient and know the Lord has the perfect birthday for my babygirl. But it's so hard when I think "ok I've made it my 40 weeks, where is my baby?"

I want her to come when she is fully done cooking! If the dr told me today that he would induce me tomorrow I wouldn't do it. B/c I want the chance to experience going labor naturally (if I can) and b/c I know she is just not ready. So it's not like I'm desperate enough to beg the dr to induce me, I'm just human and want my babygirl in my arms.

Of course the constant questioning is not helping either...
"You are still pregnant?"
Yes I'm still pregnant duh!...I was not one of the ones who got to go early. Which I'm kinda thankful b/c that means I did not have a super small baby like I feared.

"Are you feeling any different?"
No I don't feel different. I have some pressure and I'm uncomfortable but nothing magical. Which again I'm thankful for b/c I'm not miserable. I'm not comfy but that is a given when you go from being a normal sized person to having a huge ball connected to your abdomen. I mean have you seen me...I have no gained an oz anywhere else...my back is taking a major toll. As well as my knees...they have never had to support this much weight.

"What does the dr say?"
The dr says I have the perfect environment for my baby! My BP is awesome, my weight gain is awesome...I have the perfect little cocoon for my little one. So he is super happy...and says most first time moms will go past their due date. Another thing I am thankful for, if she is gonna stay in then I am glad I can give her the perfect little home. So hush!

Look everyone! I'm tired, moody, and uncomfortable. Give me a break! I want her here worse than anyone else on this earth. I have just spent 40 weeks dreaming and preparing for the arrival of my (and TJs) miracle. You think I'm not ready to meet her. I have gotten to watch her squirm and feel her every movement. I want to see her beautiful face, I want to count her fingers and toes, I want to kiss her sweet cheeks, I want to just hold her in my arms and never let go. My world revolves around someone I have not met, you think I'm not ready to meet her?

I have to say if it were not for my God send of a mom who has been there through all the weird and amazing things that come with pregnancy I would be lost. It's just so nice to know I'm normal (well kinda). Plus like I have said before no one can tell you the joys and hardships of pregnancy like your own mother. She has a way of telling you the truth without scaring you beyond belief. The other person who deserves TONS of credit in this pregnancy is my amazing husband there is no way I would have made it to this point with out him. He has dealt with SO much! I have no been the easiest person to live with, with all the emotional moments, he has been a God send also. He has been above and beyond what I expected him to be. I have just fallin more and more in love with him in the past 40 weeks (well 35 since we found out).

So it's obvious I'm having an emotional moment but I just had so much on my chest and needed to get it all out!

I'll post tomorrow with a picture and the update of my dr appt. My mama is coming up tomorrow just to hang out with me for a day or so. TJ is going with me to my appt, he said he is gonna tell the dr he needs to help me out b/c I can't sleep and when I wake up he wakes up:/ oops! haha Poor guy!