How can something so small make me feel like I can fall asleep any second? I slept most of the day yesterday due to extreme exhaustion. But I guess that is good except I didn't sleep well last night b/c I had slept too much the day before so today I have to keep myself up. I may be dosing off here and there but it happens.
So my emotions are running VERY high. Almost every night I have a crying spell...usually nothing ticks it off either but after it starts I usually just have to cry myself to sleep. B/c it will only go on b/c I'm scared of this and scared of that, I'm overwhelmed with happiness, etc! So it is not always a sad cry it is part happy part sad...what a dork!
I'm SO happy b/c this child is only the size of a little pea, if even that big and is loved so much already. It is amazing!
I'm sad b/c I'm scared that I will do something wrong or something will go wrong.
So after today it is 10 days till we go see the dr. One more week of work a weekend then 2 days of work! I don't seem excited do I?
The most amazing thing happen yesterday...well ok I'm exaggerating but it was really awesome. TJ wants to be in the demolition derby next year at the fair...I am not for it and he asked me for some reasons...well I had some good ones I was excited...I said "first b/c this is going to be a crazy year for us you know what I mean?" he looked at me and smiled and said "Yes, we are building a house and having a baby!" I thought I was gonna jump out of my skin. He was so excited...I just love it! I have no idea how anyone makes it through hard times with out the support of a happy husband hahaha! Then I told him "second b/c I will have a new 4 month old (give or take) baby and I'm not exposing him/her to that so early and I need to be there when you're in it." So as a true boy would do he said "Maybe the year after?" I couldn't deny him that, but I still hope he doesn't want to by then hehe :)
I don't know what I would do without my rock by my side. I sometimes wonder why in the world the Lord blessed ME so much...I am 23 years old, married to an amazing man who loves me like I never imagined possible, I have a miracle on the way, and I'm about to build my dream home! and on top of that I have an amazing family who would do anything for me and this munchkin!!! How does the Lord think I deserve this? I have turned my back on him more times than I can count and he doesn't even remember it! Life couldn't be any better! (well it will be better after we go to the dr and see our munchkin! hehe)
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