Features...

Miley most definitely looks just like Tommi as a newborn. She has the same hair line...not much on top but a bunch in the back and it is almost black just like Tommis was. She also has the same shaped chin...no dimple in her chin but still the little round cute chin Tommi had.

She also has some different distinct features. Miley has the sweetest birthmark right under her right eye. It was the first thing the nurses noticed! I LOVE it!

She also has a dimple in her right cheek when she smiles or makes certain faces. It is so sweet!

Miley's cheeks are more full than Tommi's and her eyes are a little more round than Tommi's too.

I love that my girls look alike but also have their own looks. Tommi I thought was a spitting image of TJ but I don't see TJ as much in Miley. Maybe Miley will look a bit more like me :)

Whatever she looks like she is already so beautiful! I'm curious to see what color her eyes will be...right now they are REALLY dark so I think they will end up brown but we will see!


Miley


Tommi

Sweet

Daddy and his girls




Tommi loves when her sister gets to lay in her bed with her at bedtime!

Miss Miley

Things have been a bit wild around here trying to adjust to life. But things are going extremely well! I am MUCH calmer this time around. I feel like I have it together a bit more than I did with Tommi. I'm shocked to say the least. I definitely do not have it all figured out and don't feel like I do but I'm learning to take it one step at a time and not get to anxious about what is to happen next. Our life is unpredictable for now but I know it will get more in a routine before too long. I don't want to miss a thing...so I'm trying to enjoy these moments! The newborn stage is gone so fast!

TJ has been a dream come true. He has really stepped it up an extra notch to help me out. It is wonderful! He has always been great but he really is above and beyond what I expected. Partly b/c I stopped being "scared" of telling him exactly what I need. So when I need something done instead of just expecting him to read my mind I just tell him what I need. Sounds like magic huh?

So about Miley...she is a great baby in general. It is rare that she cries but when she does...watch out b/c she goes full force! She generally had been eating every 3 to 4 hours but the past couple days she has stepped it up to about every 2 hours. Guess she is trying to balance it all about.

We started out with our days and nights mixed. She wanted to "party" in the middle of the night...usually around the time she was born 3am she would have an extended wake period. But that only lasted the first couple days and now she is a great sleeper. She usually goes 4 to 5 hours at night. So I am VERY thankful for that.

Tommi is head over heels in love. I knew she would love her sister but not like she does. She is forever "checking on baby sister" and making sure she is ok. If she fusses just a tiny bit Tommi walks over and "shushs" her or sings to her. It is amazing! I wish I could bottle up the sweetness of them together. My heart melts every time they are together. Tommi wants her baby sister to go everywhere with us (she of course has to but it is sweet Tommi always asks to make sure her sister is coming) She also LOVES showing her off to everyone, even people to see them everyday like TJs parents.

Tommi has been a bit of a pickle lately. She has found quite the attitude. It doesn't seem to be a jealousy thing but she is definitely testing her boundaries. Her alter ego is named "Matilda" haha 85% of the time she is our sweet Tommi but Matilda comes out. She is 2 and I have to remember that!

Life is so good!

Sick big sister...

So I officially went into labor at one of the worst times...God knows best but I still wonder how this was the best. But I do trust him!

Thursday morning my mom had to take Tommi to the dr b/c her eyes were puffy and she was running a fever. So we wanted to see what was up. Well come to find out what I thought was probably some sort of allergic reaction or something simple was an ear infection and strep...both firsts for my little gal.

So this meant antibiotics and no visiting mommy and monkey sister in the hospital! My heart was seriously torn out of my chest...I was a mess! I dreamed of the day my girls would meet and how it would be in the hospital and never in my wildest dreams did I think my big girl would not be able to meet her little sister.

Thankfully I have the most amazing mother who took Tommi on and nursed her back to health as close to as well as I could as possible ;) No one can do it like the actual mommy hehe

So Thursday was kinda a blur for me. Tommi did get to come to the hospital and visit me in the waiting room...we took Miley to the nursery and then changed clothes before picking her back up. So I got to see Tommi and love her! She was REALLY sick and I hated not being with her! But we did survive.

Friday we were released from the hospital but I made sure to talk to the pediatrician before bringing Miley home to a sick big sister. He said basically lots of hand washing and trying to stay out of faces. He said all we can do is the best we can, babies have been coming home to sick siblings for years.

So we were able to have our girls meet on Friday...I wish I had it on video! Tommi was instantly in love and all about her sister! It was amazing!

The next couple days were tough keeping hands washed and Tommi away from Mileys face as much as we could. I didn't' expect her to be SO in love with her..esp since she was not feeling the best still.

Well Tommi has now recovered nicely and is doing great! Thank you Jesus for healthy kids! Miley did not get sick and that is the MOST amazing blessing ever! I can not be more thankful!

We are still battling with meds twice a day till Saturday but every dose is one less that we have to do!

I tell this all with the best memory I can...b/c a newborn and a sick toddler leaves little room for other thoughts.

I have no idea how we could have done it with out my mom...I can not express how thankful I am for her dealing with lack of sleep and a sick toddler (who is not good when she is sick...she is mean!) I honestly hope I can be half the mom my mom was and is when my girls have kids!

Monkey sister...

is FINALLY here!!!

Miley Jade Frazier made her grand entrance on January 19, 2012 at 3:08am!

She weighed 7lbs 4ozes and was 17 3/4 inches long...which I think is wrong but it is hard to measure a newborn so I will cut them some slack.

Her birth story is VERY quick...

I started having contractions about the time we were putting Tommi down for bed at like 930pm and they were just like all the braxton hicks I had and random and varied in intensity. So I went on...around 1030 they were less comfortable but still very sporadic from 2 mins apart to 15 mins apart, so I figured I would take a shower and wait for them to stop. They never did...so around 1145pm I texted TJ and said that I think I needed to start timing them b/c they were pretty intense and seemed to come in a pattern now maybe.

Sure enough they were 5 min apart. They just continued to get more intense. I kept putting off calling my mom b/c I was so scared they would stop. TJ finally had me convinced I needed to call at 1245-ish. So she left about 130am. She called me not too long after and said I needed to just suck it up and head to the hospital these were too intense to be sitting around the house. So I listened and we called TJ's mom to come up and stay with Tommi. When I got up to get the final things together they moved to 2 or 3 min apart. So his parents finally got here and we left as quick as we could...it was around 215am.

I don't remember the car ride much but TJ was most definitely speeding haha We got to the hospital and they got us in quick and I got into a room at labor and delivery. They got me hooked up on the monitors at 240am to monitor my contractions. They checked me and I was 7 to 8 cm dilated and fully effaced, so they started to put my IV in and started asking me questions so I could get the epidural I was so lovingly begging for :) Well that did not last long they had just gotten the IV set and my contractions were causing my stomach to do all kinds of weird things (ended up being my uterus pushing a baby out on its own) and I told the nurse I had to push. She went down to check me and called immediately for the dr. Only seconds later I felt something funny that then burst. They told me not to push but my body was doing it not me. So they got the dr in there and by the time he was set up I had one push and then my body delivered my sweet girl. (I told them as they got set up I could not do it with out a epidural it was crazy! But I had no choice!)

Not long after we got to the room the nurse looked at TJ and said "Sir you need to sit down your color is horrible" so he sat down and they gave him a Pepsi. I said "No way this is the last thing I need!" Well he did not miss the birth...he heard I was about to have her and he was by my side holding my hand! So thankfully he got to see it all and be with me. He was doing better by that point, we have no idea why he got low blood sugar, but thankfully the nurses were the best and took care of us both.

Miley had a super short umbilical cord so TJ had to cut it before they could even hand her to me. Which was very different...

I'll write more another time about Miley and the hospital and all the craziness life threw at me. But it is 10pm and I NEED to get to bed b/c my babies are sleeping and I need to take advantage of it!

I do and don't...

I want to go into labor and have this baby SO bad but then again after a day like today I don't.

Tommi woke up with a fever of 102 so I gave her some Tylenol thinking ok she is fighting something but will be ok. But then while sitting at the drs office I noticed her eyes were swollen...right above her eyelids/below her eyebrows. So she couldn't open her eyes totally. I let it slide thinking ok it has something to do with not feeling well. But they seemed to get worse as the day went on.

She didn't eat much today at all. Like maybe 2 chicken nuggets at chick-fil-a and some pretzels. Then a bunch of blueberries this evening.

Well I talked to my mom who I trust with helping TJ and me make judgement calls on what is worth worrying over. She said to wait until Tommi got up from her nap and if her eyes were not better to call the dr. Well the stinker slept from 2:30 till 5:45!! So the drs office was closed! But when she woke up her eyes looked even worse. They look almost like someone who had an allergic reaction to something and their face is swollen but for her it is just her eyes. Very weird. She says they do not itch or hurt and they are not red at all.

She is a bit off but I think she is battling some kind of cold...she has a fever and just feeling "off". But acts pretty normal, super cuddly and wants me but nothing weird. She is also sleepy...but I think again that is just part of the crud.

So as much as I want to be in labor I want it to hold off so she can get better! Ugh! I know others can take care of her but I like to be there for her when she needs me!

I gave her some benadryl before bed so hopefully that will help her eyes and I will not have to take her in tomorrow. But if they are not better in the morning I am taking her into the dr to get checked out. With the impending delivery I need to know what is going on so it doesn't get worse. If it is an allergic reaction I have no idea what could be causing it b/c she has had nothing new to eat and I'm not using anything new in the house.

Being a parent is hard!

40 week appt..

I had my 40 week appt today...I am technically 40 weeks and 2 days. But I had to see one of the drs who is chronically late. My appt was 11am and I got called back about 11:20 so that wasn't bad but then we sat in the exam room for another good 30 min before she came in ugh! Tommi came with me b/c I figured it would be a standard quick check of heartbeat and measurement. I was gonna deny being checked for progress. But since TJ only had one job this morning he met me at the drs office.

When they called me back the nurse didn't ask if I wanted to be checked I guess since I am past my due date it is standard. I know I could have denied it but whatever.

Well thank God TJ did come b/c Tommi would have been hard for me to handle by myself. So the dr checked the heartbeat and measured my belly and then after checking my progress and stuff she wanted to check the fluid levels (by u/s) and do a NST (non stress test) to make sure baby was content. So we ended up being there for almost 2 hours total! Not cool. According to this dr I am almost 3 cm and 80% effaced but that is all a matter of opinion I think, so who knows if I have made any difference in the last 2 weeks. She also said she was gonna try to loosen my membranes to move things along...so I guess she did when she was checking me. It didn't hurt at all like people talk about. But I know the only way it will move things along is if Monkey is ready.

Tommi did really well through it all until the end she was getting restless while doing the NST but thankfully TJ was able to take her out to distract her. But I am so proud of her for handling it all so well. She cracked us up asking all about the jelly on my belly during the ultrasound and NST.

So the dr told me that since I'll be 41 weeks Monday she feels we need to induce...which I wanted to deny but she went on to tell me how by that point the risk of c-section is the same as a regular delivery and blah blah. I just went with it, with hopes that I will not make it to Monday. So while getting my u/s done she called to set up the induction but the hospital said they are too full on Monday and Tuesday so Wednesday is the day they have to put me in. I was happier about that b/c that gives her one more whole week to do it by herself. The dr told me to call the hospital Monday and see if they can fit me in but I'm not planning on it. I am set up and scheduled for Wednesday so that is what I am going with. The later I can make it the better off I am...as long as Monkey is safe.

But I am praying harder than ever that I go on my own before then...even THIS week would work for me :) So any prayers will help...I DO NOT want an induction. Though they may try breaking my water before any meds are used I still just would rather just go into labor naturally. So it is a wait and see game.

I will be shocked if I make it to next Wednesday but it is all in Gods hands!

Huge...

I took my weekly pictures this evening. When you give my husband a camera he can't help but take a million pictures so I always end up with a bunch of random weird ones.

Figured I would share one of his random ones of the massive size of my 40 week woman!



I have my 40 week dr appt tomorrow.

Tomorrow is my guess for when Monkey will be here...I'm not changing it but I don't think she will be here tomorrow. It would be very nice though!

Weird child

Tommi is officially weird!

While in the bath Tommi was very upset with me b/c I was washing her hair. She hates it...some baths she does great and some baths she flips out like I'm torturing her. Well tonight I was torturing her.

She was crying and trying to calm down, when she all the sudden got really upset again. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I had an accident, I just peed." I told her that is ok b/c she is ok and tried to make her laugh by telling her I used to pee in the tub too. She was devastated! She said "I don't like peeing in the tub, I wanna get out!"

Most kids pee in the tub and don't care. Well not my Tommi Jolene! :)

Tonight was a tough night...she was so tired EVERYTHING irritated her. She went to bed REALLY well with out complaining b/c she was just so ready to sleep. The best part of her being tired is she is very cuddly! So she ended up in bed a little later than normal b/c TJ and I were really enjoying the cuddles! :)

Due...

Today was my "due date" only 5% of people have their babies on their due date so I was not expecting to go into labor today.

So I felt pretty good today...emotionally and physically. Physically I have my pains but I think I was more uncomfortable with Tommi than I have been this time. I have alot less pressure which could be a good thing or a bad thing. But they say first-time babies engage earlier than 2nd and so on. So I am hoping the lack of inner thigh pressure is due to her just not dropping in until actual birth.

My mind is still here and there. I have myself convinced I will not go into labor anytime soon but then again am disappointed when it doesn't happen.

My mom said today she believes it will definitely be this week...I PRAY she is right!

Tommi is now telling me often "I want to meet monkey sister." "I can't wait to meet monkey sister." etc. It breaks my heart b/c all I can tell her is "soon" well I have been saying that for how long now? And how much longer will I be saying that?

It is so funny how I can be the voice of reason for others who are in these shoes but when it is my turn I'm just like everyone else. SUPER anxious and impatient!

Tommi has been a booger lately with a total attitude and just exercising her opinion. So I am hoping the birth of this child turn will be a turning point. What cracks me up is the thing that usually causes her to tantrum is PUTTING CLOTHES ON!!! She wants to be naked all the time so when we go to leave the house she doesn't want clothes on and if she agrees to it, it takes forever to get the "right" outfit. Over all she is amazing! Today was the first day in over a week Tommi has eaten half way normal. She has been bird eating for over a week and today ate a normal lunch and dinner! Yay!

Tomorrow we have no plans to keep us busy. I have been racking my brain to come up with something but I got nothing.

Day before...

Well I am officially due tomorrow! I was kinda hoping I would go at least a day early so I didn't have to deal with the everyday questioning and comments. But that is not the case.

I am an emotional mess with emotions bouncing from happy to sad in a matter of minutes! I went past my due date with Tommi and expected to be better this time since it was kinda expected that I would go over.

I guess today was just extra hard b/c I was so nauseous all day and having pretty strong contractions, not consistent but strong. Plus I just felt really emotional...like I just wanted to cry. Which I did and it actually made me feel better.

Tomorrow Tommi and I are gonna do our normal Monday routine and hopefully just enjoy the day together. Hopefully I can keep my mind off things. I have to remember to take this one day at a time!

Everyone...I mean everyone has their guess on when she will come. Most say it will be this week...and I'm begging the Lord please let it be this week! I can't be mad if I don't go this week...b/c the Lord knows her perfect birthday.

Dr appt is Wednesday...with one of the drs I am not a huge fan of so it would be nice to not have to go to my appt but I can only dream :) If I do go it will be another date day for Tommi and I so either way it is good...either extra time with my first babygirl or meeting my second babygirl for the first time.

I am doing my best to be positive!!!!

Carseat...

So I've been meaning to install monkey's car seat base in the car for a while now. Finally we got it done today. TJ and I both felt confident in installing it b/c we have done it a few times and each time it has been checked by a car seat specialist and it was done right. Plus I can easily install Tommi's new seat with ease and I know what to look for to make sure it is installed right and is tight enough.

Well I guess it has been a while b/c we went to install it and it was not as easy as we remembered. We could not seem to get it tight enough. We have it tightened to the max and it still moves more than it is supposed to.

We are gonna try some different adjustments tomorrow but I have to go out to the fire dept on Monday and hope the car seat specialist is in so I can get this thing in there right.

I'm a nervous nelly about car seats. I am all about having it installed as well as I can! If I'm gonna have my babies on the road I have to have them as safe as possible.

Now lets all hope I don't go into labor this weekend so that I can get this done on Monday and put my mind at ease.

With my crazy hormones raging I am SUPER worried about this. Now I am regretting waiting so long to get this done. I am sure I can get it done before I have her but it is just another thing I have to do so it is just annoying.

My vent for the day :)

Overposting...

If there is such thing as over posting I am guilty. I write on here far too much but it is my outlet. I usually write on here just to get my feelings out and not annoy my mom or TJ with saying the same thing over and over. But I still vent to them too. :) So this is one of those get my crazy head feelings out.

As I sit here on the computer in complete silence with Tommi peacefully sleeping in her bed and TJ on his way home from dipping. I can not help but think 2 things..."I am so ready to have this little girl in my arms and bond with her." and "I am not sure I am really ready for this." So both ends of the spectrum.

I was reading an e-mail that I got this week about the 39th week of pregnancy. It had a list of signs that I'm getting close to labor...well I have in some way experienced all of them. So it really got me thinking...well ok come on labor start up and holy crap this is really gonna happen SOON! Soon being loosely used from days to weeks...but everyday is one day closer! Crazy!

I have been so exhausted the past couple days. I usually am not in bed earlier than midnight and that is "early" for me. The past 2 nights I have been in bed at 1030 and 11. And I've been back to taking naps when Tommi does, which I had not been doing.

So basically my mind is all over the place!

Pep talk and encouragement

I can not be more thankful for the amazing people who surround me...not always literally but they have my back.

This morning my mom gave me the peptalk I needed. I am kinda discouraged b/c my body is showing tons of signs of go but no official green light. I'm not very good with change so for me I think...lets just get this over with so I can adjust and move on with my "new" life. But my mom who totally understands and basically reminded me of what I say to all first time moms...ENJOY IT! You will miss the belly, you will miss the movements, and most of all you will miss the simplicity of life. She also told me to assume I will not have a baby till my due date so if she comes early then it is a special surprise. <---I was JUST telling a friend this only a month ago!

So I am done being disappointed! I am not looking past my due date...I think the fact that I could still be pregnant in 2 weeks is what is getting to me. But I can't fear that I just have to make it to next week and go from there! Thanks to my mom who took care of me at this point with Tommi and again this time! I am so blessed! (Lets see if I'm saying that when she is "living" with me for a week or so after Monkey is here but for now she is the best haha)

Only moments after getting off the phone with my mom Tommi walked up and said "Mama can I lay next to you?" I had been planning on getting up after I got off the phone...but nope not gonna happen. I am gonna embrace this time that I can get all the snuggles I want. So of course I moved right over and she laid next to me. Then looked up at me and said "Mommy I love laying with you!" I love her so much!!!! She has been super cuddly today and even when I'm in the bathroom she comes running and wants to hug me or just have me hold her (yeah I have had to turn her down on that one...holding a toddler while peeing is a bit odd haha)

Then I got a text from my soon to be sis in law, Heather, she told me she was thinking about me and hopes I am doing well and staying comfy! I feel so blessed to have so many not only waiting on Monkey to get here but thinking of me and loving me!

I am blessed!!!

39 weeks

39 week appt was today...

nothing exciting...babygirl is just chillin. I have far too good of an environment for her. Her heartbeat was 137bpm and my measurement was on track. He did another pelvic and nothing has changed since last week. The dr said the cervix was still high. So monkey is just hanging out and enjoy her last days/weeks "attached" to me.

I am a little disappointed there was no change from last week esp since I have been having tons of braxton hicks and cramping. But the dr said it is normal to stick at this point till actual labor starts esp with 2nd children.

I did get my "final" pedicure this evening...I have been meaning to get a pedicure for weeks but it just hasn't worked out. Since we had nothing going on this evening I told TJ lets just go do it so I can check it off my list.

Today was nasty cold and rainy so we did not get the car seat base set in the car. I need to move Tommi's seat to behind the driver and put monkeys on the passenger side. Hopefully we will get it done soon so I can continue to check things off my list.

My body feels like it could go anytime but my mind has me convinced I'll make it to my appt next Wednesday. Just praying VERY hard I'm not pregnant in 2 weeks. Guess it is all wait and see now!

Better....

She slept pretty good last night...only woke up once at 2am to "cuddle". She woke up at 8 and I brought her to bed with me and she slept till 1030! We needed that so bad! She didn't cough much last night but when she sat up this morning all the yuck that had settled in her throat started moving and caused her to cough a bunch. But after she was up for a bit it stopped making her cough. She was pretty congested today but it didn't bother her as much as it bothered me hearing it haha

She was still a bit grumpy today like she didn't feel the best. So I let her nap in my bed with me when it was naptime. She woke up from nap a whole new girl! She was so refreshed and feeling good. She was playing and dancing around while I was making dinner. I kept warning her she was gonna get coughing but it only made her cough a little...her cough sounds SO much better and is not painful! YAY!!!

I do not think I have been so thankful for Tommi to be her crazy self in all her life. She is dancing around and acting like a chicken right now!

We are still not 100% but every hour she is improving! Thank you Jesus!!!

I am feeling a bit crazy. I am so overly nervous about going into labor...I guess I didn't have so much to worry about with Tommi. It was just TJ and I so I could get up and go anytime. This time I want to make sure it is "real" and then get Tommi taken care of. It is a bit overwhelming for me. If I am gonna have her this week going into labor tomorrow or Wednesday would be PERFECT! Mom is coming up and then I would feel SO much less stressed b/c heck when Big Mama is here I'm totally forgotten :) It would be the best way to not disrupt life too much. But God has a plan and technically I'm not due for another week.

I feel like this has all snuck up on me...how did we get to 39 weeks already?!?

Not yet....

I'm not ready for this baby yet.

With Tommi being sick and me noticing the impending delivery signs, I believe I'm kinda panicking. I need life to be at a "calm" before the storm. I need to get a good night sleep just one more time. I need to be in a good place.

I'm not any of that just yet. Tommi is sick and still wants "mama" all the time (for some reason while being sick Tommi has picked up calling me Mama all the time instead of her normal "mom" or "mommy") Neither of us is sleeping well due to (i think) her steroids making her antsy and not be able to sleep well, plus the cough which keeps her up making her want me. I need to just have a day to clear my mind. I thought this coming week would be "party week" for Tommi and I. We would make many trips out to...Chick-fil-a, the mall, Target, the park, and anything else fun I can think of weather permitting. But nursing her back to complete health is about the only thing I'm worried about now. I need her to be 100% or at least 90% so we are both ready for the crazy life that is about to start.

Of course here I am worried about going into labor this week and it could be another 2 weeks before I have her. I highly doubt it will be 2 weeks but you never know!

Potty Trained

I stressed so much about Tommi potty training, but now I have to say it is one of the most amazing things ever. She is SO good about it. She has had her days that she slipped up but for over a week now she has been doing so well. I have found she likes to hold it for a couple hours sometimes but as long as she makes it to the potty I'm ok with whatever. She loves trying "new" pottys or at least seeing the bathroom everywhere we go so if we go out that helps.

So she is officially potty trained completely...just in time to give me a month break from changing diapers. haha I'll take it!

Now lets hope she does not "regress" when monkey comes...I don't think she will b/c she hates diapers so much. She still has to wear them at night but she is growing to be ok with that...if she wakes up in the middle of the night she will call for me to come take her to the potty so lately she has been dry in the mornings b/c she goes in the middle of the night.

On a monkey note...my due date is only single digits away!! Eek! So soon!!! I think I'm a bit in denial with Tommi being sick I have not had alot of time to think about it. I have faith the Lord is gonna allow me to hold off till Tommi is totally better so I can focus on monkey.

Tommi and 38 week appt

Well Tommi had her follow up this morning and her oxygen levels were 97...PRAISE THE LORD! So VERY good (a healthy child is about 100). Her lungs sounded clear...another praise! Her upper chest/lower throat still have crud, so they gave us some steroids to help treat the swelling in there and help make the cough less painful. It will not get rid of it, but will help it be less painful for her. The cough has to just run its course. So lots of fluids and keeping her comfy is all we can do otherwise. But I can not express how thankful I am for the better/good report.

She is still in need of major prayers b/c she is really not feeling good and the cough is so painful it breaks my heart. But God is good and I'm so thankful for the progress we have made so far! Definite answer to my prayers!!!

She keeps telling me "Mommy, I don't feel very good!" :( and whenever she feels a cough coming on she comes running or cuddles really close. But I think the mommy cuddles do help (*big smile*) I have to admit I really like having healing powers...or so she thinks.


I also had a drs appt, my 38 week appt...late in the 38th week. I saw Dr.S...who I don't really like. She is "rough" and just not my type.

But Monkey checked out good. Her head is down...low, her heartbeat is strong, and my belly is measuring right on track.

They asked if I wanted a pelvic exam...out of curiosity I said yes. I know it really doesn't mean that much, esp since I hardly made progress with Tommi till I was in labor. Well I was 1 to 2 cm (she said just enough to call it 2cm) and 70% effaced. So things are on there way...it could be tonight or a couple weeks. I am praying I can get my "big girl" better before the "little girl" comes. I also have a little more snuggle time I need to get in before I have to be shared :)

As I was leaving Dr.S stopped me and said "I'm on duty next Friday, if you haven't had baby by then would you want me to schedule an induction?" I told her "No, I'll just wait it out." But heck no is what I really wanted to say. Seriously? I will not even be at my due date, it is Friday the 13th, I want to go into labor naturally, and only God knows my baby girls perfect birthday. I think the dr was a bit shocked b/c when she asked if I was over it yet. I basically said I was b/c it was getting tough with a 2 year old and being this pregnant. But I'm almost 39 weeks pregnant few are not over it at this point...esp when they have another little one. I still am loving my pregnancy and I'm not "over it" per say but I am getting tired and kinda uncomfortable at times. Otherwise I feel really good.

Unless these braxton hicks get stronger and turn into real contractions, I have another appt next Wednesday, with Dr.N who I really like!

Sick...

So Tommi has had a cough for a couple days but it was only at night and when she was running around. I chalked it up to dry weather and the change of temperatures so often.

Well last night before bed it got worse so I gave her a low dose of Delsum which helped for a little while but then she was up a million times. Her cough would wake her up and she would want me to just check on her. At around 4am she called for me b/c she said she had to go pee, which I figured she was just awake and had to go so she wanted to go. Well I picked her up and she was SUPER hot. I took her temp and it was 101.4. She said she was thirsty so I took her out to the living room to get a drink and due to her crazy cough we snuggled up in the recliner and went to sleep. We slept off and on between coughing. So basically neither of us got alot of sleep.

Today we laid low and basically snuggled all day. She wouldn't let me out of her sight or more than a couple feet from her for long. She seemed to be doing ok other than coughing like crazy. Poor thing even coughed enough to make her self throw up. It was not cool but I figured we would ride it out and see where things went.

She went down for nap for about 40 min before coughing so much she wanted to be with me. At that point I brought her to my bed to see if I could get some rest out of her. She tried to sleep but had little luck with the cough. Finally after watching her cringe and cough enough I called the dr and the nurse said due to her age there was little I could give her to help her rest but I could bring her in and they would check her out if need be. So I decided that would be best for my peace of mind and maybe to get her some relief.

So 430pm we went to the dr and she did pretty well not flipping a lid too much and actually let them look at her. Well the dr heard some yuck in her lungs so they did a oxygen test and her numbers were 92-93, they informed me at 90 they put kids in the hospital. He did a blood test to see if it was bacterial or viral and it was viral. He diagnosed her with bronchiolitis or RSV.

She has to go back in the morning to see if her numbers get any better and if they drop anymore they will have to admit her. For now I am supposed to push fluids and keep her comfortable as possible. Hopefully the numbers get better b/c I really don't want to do the hospital thing. I am the only one in this family who needs to be hospitalized anytime soon.

I looked up about bronchiolitis and it is most common in those under 2, non-breastfed, preemies, males, those in daycare, kids from homes with smokers, etc. Every one of those is NOT Tommi. So how my kid gets this is beside me. She picked it up somewhere but who knows where.

I have a drs appt tomorrow which I planned to take Tommi to but definitely can't now. So TJ is supposed to meet me in town to hang out with Tommi while I go to my appt. That is if all goes well at her appt and I can go to mine.

For now I am hoping for a better night tonight...which is not likely but I can hope!

Tommi has LOTS of prayers coming her way and I know the Lord can touch her! I NEED her healthy for the arrival of her little sister!!! This is supposed to be a really exciting time!!

Monkey belly

I wish I could get a picture of my belly when Monkey pushes out on the side b/c it is all round then this random "growth" off the side (usually my left side) I assume it is a knee b/c it is perfectly rounded. She does it quite often. If I put my hand on it and push it lightly she will stop but I have come to love it. It is not the most comfortable thing b/c it really feels like she is about pop a hole out the side. But it is too cute and really a signature move of hers. I do not remember Tommi ever doing that on the side. I'm going to continue to try to get a picture but we will see. I definitely wanted to note it b/c I will love remembering back on it.

So my wish for the birth of Monkey is the earliest of the 11th, which gives me a week. I am hoping she avoids Friday the 13th. But comes no later than 25th, which means I have 3 weeks to go. If I picked her birthday I would say either the 12th or the 18th.

I am getting super anxious and scared out of my mind...all in the same moment!

Spoken

While doing my daily devotions...I really was "moved" and spoken to by the 2 verses that were part of my devotion.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have read this verse so many times in the course of my life. I actually have a towel type thing in my kitchen that hangs from my stove with this verse on it. But it really was huge for me today. Just how no matter the bad things that happen the Lord has a plan for us and knows where we are going and it will be good. Right now might not be the best but my future is bright and that is a promise. I like that...I love things that can be promised to me...b/c few things in life can be. But knowing my future is in the Lords hands makes daily life and struggles ALOT easier.

The other verse was...

Romans 12:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I don't want to be like those in "the world". I want to be different, I want others to see me and want to know what I have that they don't...that being the Lord.
I also LOVE hearing about God's good, pleasing, and perfect will. Right now I am bouncing back and forth on the timing of this child, I potentially love the age difference in my girls b/c Tommi can be so helpful, understand, and sweet. The excitement in her face of being a big sister is priceless, it is almost like she has a job she is SUPER proud of. But I also wonder 'was it long enough?' between them. Tommi is at a tough age. She is VERY opinionated, sometimes bossy, and a handful. We are potty training, testing our limits, and just learning about being independent without being too independent. It seems to be a tough time to have a newborn on top of all that. BUT God's timing is perfect. He planned monkey at the perfect time in his will...he knew long before I knew that she would be born in this time and it was HIS will. I can trust that...my will is NOT perfect but his is! He didn't promise me that it wouldn't be tough or that I wouldn't feel defeated. He only said his will is good, pleasing and perfect.

I feel like this has really given me a peace about what is to come. I can not worry about the future and how I will do it with 2 kids. But I can focus on now and know it will all be good! I just have to put my burden on him and he will take care of us.

Also...I anyone who reads this PLEASE pray for a dear family to me,the Kiser's. The father was TJ's baseball coach this summer and I got to know his wife and daughter this summer at games. His wife had been battling different types of cancers for many years now and the Lord finally took her home. She was one of those woman I want to be just like. She had the brightest spirit and fought a VERY long and hard fight. I know she is out of pain now and feeling very good. But she left behind a wonderful husband, 3 grown children, a grandchild, and a community who loved her dearly. I feel even more connected to this family b/c the daughter who I got to know this summer has a little boy who is 6 months younger than Tommi and is pregnant again due in March. So in the midst of being pregnant she lost her mom, her best friend, and grandmother to her children. So this hits really hard at home for me. Just pray for them in this hard time. They are a truly amazing family!

Mixed reactions...

In only a matter of a week I have heard:

"Wow you don't look 9 months pregnant."
"You are so tiny for 37 weeks."
"You are all belly."

and

"You sure there is only one in there?"
"You look like you are about to have a litter."
"You look like you are gonna pop any minute."
"Now that is a 9 month pregnant waddle."
"That belly is huge." OK so that was my dad and he totally said it lovingly and not the way it sounds but it was funny.

I do not take offense to ANY of it. I don't like hearing the comments about having twins b/c I really don't think I'm that big. But I do not take comments to heart b/c sometimes I think people lack something to say so they don't think before they speak.

It is funny I get such mixed reactions.

Ready?

Ok so I guess I'm pretty much as ready as I'm gonna be. I still need to pack some final things for me and TJ and also pack Tommi a little overnight bag (she will be staying in a hotel with my mom). Which technically I could get that stuff done in the midst of contractions if need be.

Come to think of it I need to move Tommi's car seat and install the baby one also.

I have been saying how unprepared I am emotionally and honestly scared at times. But looking at it...I will live and I will make it through. My girls are gonna thrive and life is gonna be amazing with 2 kids. Yes it will be stressful...esp in the beginning but I got the hang out it with Tommi, so I will get in the swing of things again with this one.

I have been feeling really good compared to the constant inner thigh pain and pressure I had with Tommi at this point. Sometimes laying in bed or riding in the car I can forget I'm pregnant (for a VERY brief moment). I have back pain with driving due to the angle I have to have the seat and if I'm sitting on a hard chair or in a certain position for a long time. When I get up from bed it takes a bit to get all the joints moving and I have some major lower belly pain. But then after I get rolling then I'm good. I struggle to pick up things off the ground which cracks me up. I also struggle when getting up off the floor...another laughing moment b/c I have never felt so helpless in all my life.

But I am definitely ready to have my lap back so Tommi can sit with me and read books and not be off to the side in a strange position. I am also ready to be able to pick Tommi up and carry her with out being totally defeated and in pain. It really has become very hard to carry her...I try to have TJ do it as much as possible but sometimes she doesn't go for it.

I will miss pregnancy very much as I did with Tommi, there is NOTHING in the world like watching and feeling your baby move in your belly and knowing you have taken part in God's most amazing creation ever...the human life. But I also want to remember how hard things got in the end with a 2 year old and the normal tasks of daily life.

I still think I'm gonna go overdue this time too.